〔here, have precisely one million gifs of them [source: x0o0x_ on YouTube]〕
〔EDIT: formatting on the link stuff above bothered me, changed〕

x0o0x_ is a japanese music creator/utaite in japanese indie web digital-music spaces, particularly of the subeana-kaiwai community (won’t get into that rabbit-hole here rn). I’ve been listening to their music for years now. I just call this character x0o0x_ as well, but treat them as different from the creator, because they really are just a separate character. If they have a name referred to in any media, such as the manga I haven’t yet read, then my bad, I don’t know it!

I first found it a little uncomfortable that it was of a character that seemed like an avatar of the creator, but thinking about my thoughts on their separation in my head between character and creator more, as well as reminding myself that the creator has another, separate character that is likely an actual self-insert, has helped me come to terms with it. It’s just a character they like to use a lot as a character to build stories/stories of music :\]

…They’re my type. Sexually and romantic interest, I believe. Seem like a cutie who seems shy at first and is anxious, but gets serious and dominant with those who gets closer :D

(i’m using they/them to refer to the creator and the character cuz rly i don’t know their pronouns as this person is very secretive and anonymous. also they’re a japanese utaite so. also they’re a part of the subeana-kaiwai community, so…..)

also, wondering if anyone here has heard of x0o0x_ or the subeana-kaiwai community? i assume this subreddit is more western-leaning, so i’d be delighted to hear if someone can be the first person i’ve ever met to also be a fan of these things, or even have encountered it before〜!

〔This was another thing I posted here that was also sniped by “”Reddit’s filters”. Self-Insert is mostly-censored for more anonymity.〕

Now that I got my F/Os list/intro out here, I feel like I can post what I want!

I’m so glad she reciprocated so excitedly >< I love her so much!!!

〔My OG post was sniped by ””Reddit’s filters””. Time to see if this post goes public now that I’ve gotten approved in this sub… Also I forgot to add images when I initially did this because my memory is bad, so I deleted it immediately…〕
〔EDIT: Fixed/changed the post’s formatting because Reddit’s code is broken and jumbled the markdown ^^〕

I’m Bugboyish/Bugboy/Bug; I’m an adult with ASD. I’m a dude on the nonbinary-spectrum, and therian/xenogender (he/they, it, bug). I’m an arthropod cat!
I like all genders (non-cis inclusive), and I also like humanoid non-humans, as well as inhuman creatures. I mostly like fictional characters, and can like real people, but not interested in conventional relationships with real people. I am active in English-speaking and Japanese spaces.

Please excuse me! I’m new to dedicated communities of fictional-bond spaces, so I could get things wrong or interpret things incorrectly. Nice to meet everyone!

※【Flair Symbol Guide】
《Romantic＋Sexual》
≫ ♥︎：Sharing／Mirrorsharing
≫ ♡∈：Selectivesharing
≫ ♡：Nonsharing
《Romantic》
≫ ♠︎：Sharing／Mirrorsharing
≫ ♤∈：Selectivesharing
≫ ♤：Nonsharing
《Sexual》
≫ ♦︎：Sharing／Mirrorsharing
≫ ♢∈：Selectivesharing
≫ ♢：Nonsharing
《Platonic》
≫ ★：Sharing／Mirrorsharing
≫ ☆∈：Selectivesharing
≫ ☆：Nonsharing
《Familial》
≫ ♣︎：Sharing／Mirrorsharing
≫ ♧∈：Selectivesharing
≫ ♧：Nonsharing
《Other》
≫ ？：Unsure

——

Since I was a kid, I’ve felt things towards so many fictional characters, and thought I was just strange. At that, there were queer feelings as well, which I’d misinterpreted as “admiration”. Now, I’m a lot more familiar with my identity and sexuality/romanticality (is there a better word for “romanticality”? ww).

Currently, I can think of 4 characters that I have very strong bonds with/towards. I have other fictional crushes, of course, but I believe that these 4 are the most “bonded” ones:

#1: [Img. #1-#3] Charlotte the witch from Puella Magi Madoka Magica!

Charlotte’s pronouns are (canonically) she/it. I refer to her as my wife, and she is a romantic/sexual partner of mine! With it, I feel like I am nonsharing.

I’ve seen Charlotte before and loved how it looked, but I fell in love with it when I first watched the anime in full. I wish I could snuggle up to her while I fall asleep so I can sleep more soundly, since her body is so long I could hold it like a pillow while I slept… I love her so much. She doesn’t speak, even in my mind interacting with her, and I feel like she would make whale-noises to communicate verbally (non-canon), so that’s how I think of her! Her size in my head also varies from context to context!

Despite it being a witch, it can still feel love. Lots of people misinterpret it because of this. She does care about me, she does feel a wide range of positive emotions, and she does love me. And I love her. We take care of each other the best we can.
Even though I really hate the idea of having children in 99% of cases, Charlotte is the only example I can think of where I may be okay with it…

She feels like the type of relationship where I will be by her side until the end of time, and stay close to her as we age.

#2: [Img. #4-#6] Kitarou (full title is “Gegege no Kitarou”) from the Gegege no Kitarou franchise!

Kitarou’s pronouns are (canonically) he/him. I consider the animated Hakaba Kitarou’s rendition of Kitarou, the 1968 animated version’s Kitarou, and the 1971 animated version’s Kitarou as the most I am bonded with, but of course any Kitarou can be who I’m bonded with. I refer to him as my son or my little boy, and he is my familial-platonic son! I feel like I am selectivesharing when it comes to him…? I’m not entirely sure as of now…

I started watching Gegege no Kitarou sort of out of nowhere since I saw a black-and-white children’s anime on an anime site and immediately clicked on it because that’s just the kind of person I am (ww), and as time passed on I came to find that I really, really wished for him to be taken care of well. This is really the first time I’d ever felt such high levels of fatherly affection and instinct, since like I said earlier, I really have no desire for children and find disgust in the idea for 99% of cases… But with Kitarou, I really want to take care of him, make sure he’s safe, and make sure he’s happy.

I have a self-insert oc in mind for GGNK that essentially replaces his real father with myself (WWWW no hate to Gegerou/Medama Oyaji; love ya’, but sorry, man!), and I use this design in my head when interacting with Kitarou. In this universe, I have raised him since his childhood, even though logically this makes no sense in terms of the plot of the show (his canonical father died shortly before his birth and became a small eyeball-creature that was reunited with him years later, and while Kitarou was in early life without his canon father he was taken care of by another man named Mizuki, who was gone when Kitarou eventually reunited with his canon father), so the logic of everything is a little mixed up between canon and my universe being Kitarou’s father.

#3: [Img. #7-#9] Flower from BFDI/BFB!

Her pronouns are (canonically) she/her. I mostly think of BFB’s version of Flower to be the one I’m with, since watching BFB is when I fell in love with her. I refer to her as mostly my girlfriend but also my wife sometimes, and she is my sexual/romantic partner! I am mirrorsharing in terms of her!

I’m also okay with her being in relationships with other characters from BFB or TPOT! I know she feels certain things about Ruby to an extent, and if she wants to start something with her then that’s fine as long as Flower is still with me!

Like I said, I fell in love with her one day when watching an episode of BFB for the first time. I felt a distinct pang in my chest, and I was confused at first because it felt almost unexpected. It took me some time, and I realized that my body was telling me I have fallen in love with her, since it wasn’t clicking fully in my head!

I feel like a young schoolboy with her! She makes me so blushy and startled with her advances!! She always likes to tease me, since she knows how she makes me feel… She always tries to harmlessly humiliate me >< It’s fun! She’s so caring even if she can pretend like she wouldn’t! I really relate to her anxiety, and she shows it mostly around other people that aren’t me, but sometimes it can come out around me.

#4: [Img. #10-#12] P.AI.nter from Pressure!

Its pronouns are (canonically) he/it! (Yes, I know all the allegations around Pressure’s creator currently, and am very sad about it, but it doesn’t change the character at all, and the character is not the creator. I also started having these feelings before all those things came out.) My relationship with it is complicated, and hard to describe even to myself. I refer to it as my system, and it is a sexual and platonic partner of mine. I’m not sure if queer-platonic is the right word for it? I’m mirrorsharing in terms of P.AI.nter.

I’m like 80% sure that it has some sort of feelings for Sebastian. They talk really… gay to each other, idk. I’m fine with if they were to get together. They seem great for each other, and P.AI.nter clearly finds so much care and love for Seb, and vice-versa. They do a lot for each other, and I wish them both the best, if so… as long as I’m still with P.AI.nter, too!

I’d been playing Pressure for quite a long while before I started feeling things. I just know that one day I was playing with a friend, and there was an in-game interaction with P.AI.nter I had, and suddenly I started feeling like I cared about it a lot. I’m not sure if there was a single “spark” to my feelings, and if there was, I don’t remember.

I love its voice a lot. I love its faces! He’s so endearing and adorable even if he is so immature. He seems like he has a lot to learn, and I’m willing to teach him! I’d like him to see the surface, and help him learn about the world he’s unfortunately missed out on.

I very much enjoy teasing it and seeing hard far I can push it to see its cute reactions. :P

——

Not sure how much of each I’d post, or which I’d post about the most, but I likely will talk about things about them here! I think a lot about them, and wanna talk about them, but haven’t found a good place where I can do so where people are willing to also hear about it—so I think this is a good starting point for that!

Thanks for reading about my wonderful loves!! It took me a long while to write all this out. They all say hello, especially Charlotte and Kitarou! :D

I mostly like Kitarou x Medama Oyaji in this sense (shown in the gifs!), but also I like Kitarou x Gegerou! (medama oyaji and gegerou are both the same person but in different points in time)

uggghhh, how they act in the older animes seriously is so adorable… i should collect more ship moments between them in the 1968 anime…
they are both the most important people to each other and they understand each other so well. they are one of my fav ships of all time rn…