I feel like I'll never find my "life I wanted"
So I'm very curious if it's at all valid to not want to work and to be taken care of by someone basically...
Its just that growing up you always hear things like you can do whatever you want, do what makes you happy, or when you're an adult you'll be able to achieve all the goals you really want and build the life you want.
Well my problem is I don't feel like that. I've never felt like that and I've always just had to push myself to the brink of breakdown to be normal and accepted by societal standards. Or that's how I feel at least. I don't want a career and don't have a lot of goals. Every job I've ever had makes me wish I was getting all my teeth pulled out instead.. I like art and writing and I don't like leaving my house much. I just want to be loved and taken care of and do my little hobbies but definitely feel like I will never get to have that... And then I feel very hopeless thinking about it. I'm 30 so I've tried several things out and met quite a few people over the years but I don't want any of it. At least nothing I've come across. All of this makes me very sad and I wonder a lot on the point of it all if I'm just sad and I end up never finding what I'm looking for.. Anyways this was a bit of a rant.. any advice is welcome but please don't be mean to me, I am truly on the brink.. 😥