Looking for advice
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Recently my m/m 5 year relationship ended, I'm also the partner that's diagnosed bipolar. I found out my boyfriend was talking to a guy who had sent him nudes in the past and who'd been his FWB. This isn't the first time he had been talking to guys who'd he'd shared a sexaul history with and it just enraged me. We had broken up before when we got back together we had promised to drop everyone we had that sort of history with. Things were going great, I was looking for rings because things were going so well. Then I found out about this stuff on Snapchat. I have no issue with him making friends but it seemed like he was only seeking out these snap connections with guys or guys hes had history with. He works in the field of mental health as a councilor and treated me like I was blowing things out of proportion. This sent me into a manic episode and I said some truly awful things that I do regret. I just feel so fractured mentally, I just want to die. Am I in the wrong here? How do y'all deal with this vastly empty feeling? I just feel like its the end of line for me. I still love him and miss him so much, but I'm also filled with rage. Advice?