Throwaway account. My best friend of 5 years and I are in a major conflict and I need perspective.
My abusive father passed away a few months ago. One month later, while on vacation together, I told her clearly: "I'll plan a girl's trip to the country he's from when I'm emotionally ready, maybe next year." She came home and immediately planned a group trip to that exact place for a mutual friend's birthday (only a month away) without once checking in on me. She now denies that's how the vacation conversation went, claiming she figured I'd want to go since I'd mentioned wanting to plan a trip there eventually.
When I raised concerns, the birthday friend was open to changing destinations since nothing had been booked yet. My other friend doubled down: "We're going with or without you." I didn't go.
After seven months of posting nothing on social media, not even from our vacation together, she posted a compilation video of the trip with our mutual friends. When I told her how seeing it felt, she refused to acknowledge it. When I raised a history of similar inconsiderate behavior with concrete examples, she deflected every single one. Her final response was "we have differing opinions on how events went down."
My therapist called her a covert narcissist, which I'm still processing and having trouble accepting.
Am I wrong for being hurt about her choosing this specific destination and calling out this pattern?
TL;DR: One month after my abusive father died, my best friend (35F) planned a group trip to the country he died in without checking in on me (44F), denied we'd discussed me not being ready to go, said "we're going with or without you," then posted a compilation video of the trip after 7 months of social media silence. When I called out this pattern of inconsiderate behavior, she said we have "differing opinions." Am I wrong for being hurt?