Being ugly makes you feel uncomfortable everywhere
No matter how kind, friendly, or interesting I try to be, people make me feel like some kind of wild animal. And I’m pretty sure it’s because I’m ugly.
Whenever I meet people for the first time, even if I’m being polite and smiling, their faces seem to tense up or get uncomfortable. People often look irritated just by my existence.
I get excluded and ignored intentionally because I’m ugly, awkward, tall, and disabled. Over time that has made me more reserved and depressed, but people blame it on my “personality.” Meanwhile, I notice that even very quiet people who are attractive or have striking features are treated with more kindness and respect than I am. The only real difference is that they have a better face and body than mine.
I see people making an effort to bring attractive shy people out of their shells, but when I try to connect with others, sometimes they blatantly ignore me or even walk away from me like I’m some kind of diseased subhuman. So I don’t even blame my “personality” anymore. My sadness and depression feel like a reaction to constantly being excluded and judged.
I’m 33 years old, and there’s nothing ⁰ wrong with my personality.
Still, people use my reserved and depressed nature as a reason to dislike me. It feels like ugly people are always destined to be social outcasts no matter what we do.
Honestly, I’m exhausted from constantly being pushed aside and treated like people wouldn’t care if I disappeared. Even when I try to improve myself — doing push-ups or lifting weights despite my disability — it feels pointless, like nobody will ever value me anyway.
I don't get a job because in the past I get bullied on the work and diagnostic with depression,
Im completely alone. I go on walks by myself, come back home by myself, and live without any real human connection or meaningful emotional experiences.
What are you supposed to do when it feels like people instantly hate you and never give you a chance, all because of your appearance? I want to dissappear I fucking hate people