My son won’t live with my husband, his step dad.
I’ll try to keep it short. My husband came into my sons life around 4 and the adopted him around 9. They haven’t always had the tightest relationship, but never really fought. My husband has been a good dad to him and our other two children up until about 4 years ago and he started struggling with addiction, walked out on us for another woman and put us through several years of hell. We have been trying to rebuild our family all of us together again. My husband is in recovery but not fully recovered just clean except for alcohol which is still problematic. My husband has caused alot of pain and trauma in our lives and has yet to start repairing that. Recently, my oldest was driving with his dad(we don’t use step dad because his real dad was never in picture and he’s adopted) and my husband had a few too may beers and he was trying to tell my son where to park at my parents house but my son was told by my parents to park elsewhere because of the grass. My son got lippy and said this isn’t even your property. My husband got all pissed off yelled said he would just sell his truck(that my son paid for all on his own) and that he was grounded to give him the keys. It was a loud ugly argument. My husband decided to text my son and call him a little bxxxx and say it was all his fault. Fast forward, my oldest has been staying with my parents since and says he will not live in the house with my husband. I am torn because I feel like my husband should fix it. But he thinks I’m allowing our 16yo to dictate our lives. Let me add in, I see my oldest is fed up with his BS and I am fed up too. My husband still isn’t ready to take accountability and responsibility to fix things. He’s awful and toxic to live with. But now I feel like I am choosing between my spouse and my child. Honestly, I am ready to move and get my own place so that all of my kids are together because I don’t want any of my children to believe I chose my own needs over their safety. But my husband thinks that he’s doing no wrong and that it’s not his fault that our child doesn’t want live with him.