u/Brilliant_Bluejay099

hi!! I’ve been researching and excited about Montessori and now that my LO is here I’m trying to apply things.

my 7 month old has an area with a cushion and some cushion tiles. I have a mini pikler triangle, object permanence ball rolling, basket of things, and wooden rattles. I switch things out but I need a shelf to organize better. right now they’re in a row. anyways I’ll show him a toy and he ends up chewing or banging the item instead putting the ball in hole for example. he also just keeps leaving the mat to explore the kitchen table. I know that is normal but just curious if it means he doesn’t have interest in the toys?

EDIT TO ADD: yes I just observe him as he does bang and chew and explore. I am asking and trying to learn if that’s normal or if i need to tweak anything. I’m a FTM and new to Montessori so just asking for help

many of my friends of play yards and they say their kids play better in there. I don’t want one because it’s massive and it seems like baby jail.

advice?

hi I have an almost 8 month old. I will co sleep in bed for naps and roll away at times. well it seems like all of a sudden he has been struggling to fall asleep. maybe he’s overtired? under? idk. but same thing for bedtime. he use to fuss a little and un latch but then fall asleep. I’m trying to remain calm but it really gets a bit frustrating when he keeps unlatches and is frustrated and then latches again for a moment. eventually he goes in to the tiredness and falls asleep or nurses but sometimes it takes 30-40 min.

for example tonight he did nurse peacefully and I thought he would nurse calmly to sleep. well no he then unlatched and kept going back and forth. im guessing he was struggling to fall asleep but why? naps too long? idk i need advice because i definitely got frustrated and then felt annoyed with myself..

does anyone have any advice? have you been through it?

I always thought id just speak English with the children but now that we have a baby I really want to speak the language I was raised with. my son is 7 months and I have found it difficult. I speak in Romanian but with my husband and friends we speak English. when I read books it’s in English. not to mention my Romanian vocabulary isn’t the best. i fear I am not going to give my child the most enriched language because Im not just constantly naming things in English.

how do I do it? do I say it in Romanian and English? my mom does soak Romanian with my son but even her vocab isn’t great. i also want him to have a rich english vocab but I am primarily with him. help please :)

long story.

I’ve been conflicted to share this because I’m quite sensitive about it so do be gentle. I am 8 months postpartum. I feel I need to add backstory.

I had a wonderful home birth however I did tear and my midwife didn’t feel comfortable stitching. I had about 3 hours with my baby. time went so fast. she recommended we head in and leave babe at home (since it will only take two hours max and they’d want to take baby in too ) with my sister who was there with us. my husband drove me to the hospital and went waited for awhile. I was so shakey and hungry. I did eat a little at home but honestly we RUSHED. they took forever though thy were kind, I didn’t get into the operation room until about 6-7 hours later. I was starving but was denied anything because of surgery. I think I was gone from my baby for 8-9 hours.

I say this because I don’t think I recognized how that has impact me and made me more anxious.

well in laws comes and visit next day. originally I didn’t want anyone really to hold him but I did let her hold him for a bit. baby starts crying so I take him. she looks bummed and a little bitter. next day she comes back and holds him and sits other side of bed on the rocking chair. my anxiety was rising. I said after a little while, “ I think he’s hungry now.” (wanting baby back) she said, “oh do you think?“ (high pitch voice) I feel defensive and give a serious eye to my husband and tell her yes give him back. well there’s a few other stories where basically I feel ignored by her, challenged, past aggressive, and it has made me put my guard up. it sucks because she is so sweet and I love the in laws but I haven’t felt respected. they don’t ask my permission for sure mundane things but it would make me feel more comfortable if they started dis too that then earn the freedom

last story: I ask her to join me to the dentist to help with baby. I tell her my rules, “okay stay with me in the room and if he cry’s I can take him” she touches my leg and taps it saying, “this will be a good stretch for you dear.” I was raging inside and kindly forced a smile saying , ”that’s not helpful mom.“ well she couldn’t come back until x ray was finished. so she stayed in the front. I see her outside where I did not want her to go. then I see him crying and in like ?? she says he just started crying.

i am trying to work through this. I know i have some pp anxiety. but i also haven’t felt safe and supported. they don’t seem to recognize what goes into this whole process of child birth and pp. I have talked to them twice. first was 3 days after birth crying telling them I felt invisible to them. (they would keep checking in to see if their grandbaby was born and not asking how I am, and then they didn’t really ask meany things pp. could be the excitement of a new baby) then two months later saying I felt a bit sensitive and struggled with irrational thoughts and clinging to my baby.

well we are traveling with them soon and I am just concerned how to have my boundaries but also be kind. i know they’ll want to be with baby and hold him but I just don’t always feel comfortable. i sometimes feel bossed around instead of asked and honored. I understand it’s good for baby to be with them too. but I don’t feel good with them always (mainly MIL) so it’s hard for me to release that. I do feel comfortable with others it’s just this feeling that rises with MIL.

TL;DR struggling with pp anxiety, don’t feel comfortable with in-laws more so MIL at times, and we are traveling with them. How to balance it all? Honoring wht I feel but also moving towards healthy relationships for us all.

(also, my husband did have a conversation with them and did mention to my mother-in-law to stop asking to hold baby all time and let me ask her if she wants to hold him, Stop mentioning how he’s in his carrier so often, that he’s always napping, and that she hasn’t seen him since X amount of days. Apparently the conversation went well, but I did see days after and she did in fact, asked to hold him again instead of just playing with him at the play place. )

tips? comfort? solidarity?