I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD & been medicated for years. I’ve always recognized how my meds would help me with my day to day life & would help me actually get things done. I’m in my 30s now & I’m currently going through a really tough time in my love life with my significant other. It’s been EXTREMELY hard & I’ve been wondering why I feel like I’m on the brink of death. During this time I’ve realized how emotional dysregulation & RSD play a big factor in my life especially when it comes to relationships. I wish people understood the level at which I feel things. It’s hard to explain to a normal person that I feel things 5x more intensely than they do but I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone.
However, a few days ago I realized how much my adderall does help me. I was having a good day & got a lot of things I needed to get done & I was in a good mood. I wasn’t super sad or thinking about the problems I’m having with my person as much. A thought or 2 popped in my head but it was brief & I didn’t ruminate on it. Later that evening I got hungry & ate dinner & usually when I start to get hungry I know my meds are starting to wear off. As I was eating I started to think more… about everything & it just began to get worse. Eventually I went back to my room & started to spiral which led to a mental breakdown. I couldn’t stop the thoughts. At first I was scared because I thought it came out of nowhere but I realized as my meds wore off my emotional control started to decline. It’s like all of my thoughts came flooding into my mind at once & it was just too much for a person with ADHD to handle & regulate.
Experiencing that made me realize how much my meds have helped me over the years emotionally. I do feel like it has helped me regulate my emotions better & I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this as well?
Xoxo