Slimeknight fanfic writer with a fanfic that flows kinda weird
Hello! I'm kinda new to this whole fanfic writing thing, and I feel that there is still much more room to improve. I've kind of shoved a lot of words and ideas and emotions into about two chapters, and wish for ways to perhaps make it more engaging I guess. I find the pacing to be slightly off, and it sort of seems a little dramatic. Also, in the case that y'all liked it at all, I will probably write more of it. But I wish to be critiqued. However harshly that may be. I want to get better at writing (so I can write more fanfic :p), but I wish for your opinions! Thanks a lot!
Also (if it's not too much to ask for), could you guys like point out specific phrases that seem off? Thank you!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/83943971/chapters/221302751