my brother and i are both in our 30s. he has three kids, i don’t have any. i love my nieces and nephew, and i have helped a lot over the years. school supplies, groceries, a car repair once, even covering part of their rent when he was between jobs.
at first it was always framed as an emergency, so i said yes because i didn’t want the kids to suffer. but over time it stopped feeling like emergencies and started feeling like a second bill i was expected to pay.
the breaking point was last week. my brother asked for $900 because he was behind on daycare and said if i didn’t help, he might lose his spot. i asked why it got that bad, and he admitted he and his wife had gone on a weekend trip the month before because they “needed a break.” i got angry and said i’m not funding their bad planning anymore.
he said i don’t understand real responsibility because i don’t have kids. then he said my money is “just sitting there” while his family actually needs it. that really set me off. i told him i’m not his emergency wallet just because i made different choices, and if he wants to take trips, he can also figure out daycare.
now my parents are saying i was cruel and that the kids shouldn’t be punished for their parents being stressed. my brother hasn’t talked to me except to send one text saying “must be nice to only care about yourself.”
i feel bad because the kids didn’t do anything wrong, and i know daycare is important. but i’m also tired of being guilted every time he runs short.
AIW for refusing to help this time?