I recently had my first psychological assessment after having a relapse a week ago and they give an option to have psychotherapy or if i want to take medications. I decided to ask for help because I really feel like I’m going insane. The assessment was just an interview, and afterward I didn’t really feel anything—I still felt empty even after sharing my history.
The next day, I suddenly didn’t want to go to my next session. I feel numb, like I’m not really alive, and I don’t know what to say or do in the next session. But I still want to understand what’s going on with me, because I hate experiencing the feeling of wanting to harm myself again. It’s like there’s this urge or itch to hurt myself, but I don’t even know why I feel that way.
Sometimes I think maybe I’m just really tired and want to disappear or lock myself in my room for months.