A few months ago, I had two best friends whom I truly loved with all my soul, but I distanced myself from them. Before explaining why, let me tell you how we met. I met them three years ago, and our friendship started off on the wrong foot because of something stupid I did in my first year of high school. However, over time things settled down and we started hanging out. We grew closer, but I was always the one initiating everything. At the time, I didn't mind because I was truly alone.
As time passed and I felt a deeper bond with them, it started to bother me, but I kept doing it because I felt lonely. Since I really cared for them, I pushed through; sometimes I felt bad, but whenever they spoke to me, my mood would improve (I feel like that was very foolish of me). This past year, due to stress, I couldn't take it anymore—especially since one of them had annoyed me over a project situation. After that, whenever I spoke to him, it was always me reaching out as usual, but I felt like my presence bothered him. I kept going like that for a month like an idiot, crying every night. The other one was the same; he would talk to others without any issues, but with me, I had to be the one to speak first, or else he wouldn't say a word to me all day.
I got tired of it and distanced myself. I still see them every day and I wonder if I made the right choice because now I feel lonely, and I'm scared of remaining alone in university.