u/Brief_Hunter_29

Hi, at the very start spring, a certain corner of the house had a bunch of big winged (around 20) ants crawling around, trying to climb up.

I killed them using an ant spray, then kept seeing new dead bodies for a while, I took a minute to find out they are carpenter ants (never encountered them before). They disappeared for a bit, but then I got a random here and there of a lot bigger bodied ants, winged and unwinged, they were dead/dying due to the ant spray residual effect.

Read about them, kept hoping I'll manage the problem my self, and they were getting less and less pretty fast. I found where some were "congregating" they outside the house and it matched the corner I see inside. It's at the bottom base of the house. Gave them some bait. They have been gone for a while.

But my concern they seem to have been entering (along occasional pill bugs) from what seems where the house meets the ground at the very bottom. (I haven't managed to find holes/piles of sawdust they are know for).

I read carpenter ants can compromise foundation wood or something, and I am scared what that means. I am not sure if they've been gnawing everything during the winter, and that maybe they are deep under the house.

My questions are...should I get an inspection for house foundation before the pest control if at all, and should I hire a pest control for the entire house, can they actually kill those "under the house" if so, do they just come back, how scared should I be??

Too afraid to even make the calls cause the prices might be insane.

My friend is contemplating a divorce after a looong marriage. She is approaching 70 years old.

Her husband is mean, doesn't help around the house, critical, mean to her when sick, hates her -it seems- but won't do nothing about it/apathetic?. Yells like a maniac when angry, picks fights, scary stuff.

She always said, well he isn't physically abusive, he doesn't cheat or look at other women, he is not controlling (but she hates that he's disengaged from family goals), he doesn't ask for money - but doesn't "provide" for the family either.

She is also religous, like super duper, loves God, and God fixes everything, God is fate type.

I for a long time was of the opinion she should get a divorce, not even about she's perfect and he's the devil really...but God damn she complains about him all the damn time it makes no damn sense, and he -imo don't know him like that- also doesn't like her, but that's the magic of marriage that I don't understand...well I guess the money is worth it, whatever.

Now my criticisms of her why I say she's not perfect....I mean it's none of my business...but she's so self involved all the time, all her problems are top priority and easily takes up the air in any conversation, all her goals are the right goals to have, so many people around her disengage and avoid her cause she's very opinionated in "a caring innocent know it all way", very suffocating for some.

I personally don't care, just let her do her thing, brush it off...her advice is usually good tbh, but very...."unfun?" she's a workaholic, she's smart and caring, I think her husband hates that she ignores his existence (but who wouldn't 😬), but...I don't even think she understands that she comes across that way.

She doesn't even seem like she...likes men romantically or smexually..I don't think she likes smex at all.

Like why did she marry all together typa thing. She loves her kids and says I am happy he gave me that, they are grown though.

She also...is a listener...but...ignores you at the same time idk how to put it 😅. She's not the type I'd suggest anything to, she'll be dismissive, and guilt trips you for wanting her to do anything different...I just take her as is...I like it I am fine 😅.

Ok...so recently after like 30+ years marriage? she's been contemplating divorce, the reason is they went on some vacation and they had to visit a lot of his relatives, when she expressed she's tired and feels this is too draining for a vacation he exploded yelling...but..she didn't express what he said...just that she's sick of the constant negativity, and now when she sees someone who says they're divorced she day dreams about the freedom.

She did mention his brother said something about how some religions allow multiple wives and he was telling his sons about it...Idk she has always complained about his brother, and that she feels he gets in his ear and makes him all pent up about things he wouldn't have if it wasn't for the brother...I...dunno about that. His brother was a topic for a long time too though, cause her husband gives him money or something.

Where I stand, I think she should've divorced a loooooong time ago, simply cause she doesn't like him, never felt she did, she's always acting like a matyr for putting up with him, it's like he was always that way...now you say this, I have known her for over 20 years??

So the question is...I am scared how he's gonna take it for her, she seems so "switched up", I don't think he'll see it coming, and he'll easily project that she wasted his time or something. Amicable is not what I think this will be.

I am hoping it'll be just angry yelling, but I am scared he might level up with his anger...I just don't have that type of outwards anger so IDK, I think it'll be a blindside for him for sure, cause she never confronts him about nothing like that, after major fights acts all cheery around him like nothing ever happened, like waay too cheery, in her mind this is to fix the relationship "positive vibes"...but she's suddenly talking divorce, I personally didn't see it coming from her either.

Is there advice from anyone about how to approach that type of "rage" personality or the divorce at sych ab age...??

Don't really have male friends like that, or know anythung about marriage. She's talking so carelessly about it and not planning, "well assets will be split in half, the end" like...I don't think so.

She has Meniere's with dizzy spells...I don't know what will happen to the house, her economics...I dunno...sounds very stressful really scared for her, and don't want her to not plan it carefully. Am I wrong?