u/Brief_Background_874

TL;DR: Went on 5 great dates, but after a sleepover (no sex due to her intimacy/stress issues), I over-accommodated and the romantic tension dropped. Days later, her dad had a severe medical emergency, leading her to total burnout with work and engineering school. She ended things, saying she has zero emotional capacity right now. I walked away with a firm, respectful boundary. Two weeks into No Contact, I'm struggling to let go and wondering if I should reach out for her birthday next month. Need harsh truths and advice.

I (29M) went on 5 dates with a woman (28F) we had great chemistry with, though the dynamic was a bit of a roller coaster.

We had really good connection, each date was 4-6 hours and we could have stayed longer if it wasn’t getting late.

On our last date, she invited me for sleepover at her place. It was fun but we didn't have sex because she communicated she was stressed and struggles with intimacy and having a man in her personal space. I completely respected her boundaries and backed off.

My instinct after that night was to prove I was a "safe space." I over-corrected. I felt like the romantic tension dropped since then.

Few days later her life exploded. She is a full time employee as well as a engineering student in a beginning of a new semester. On top of that, her father collapsed from extreme pain and was rushed to the ER for MRIs. She hit total burnout and I tried to be helpful as much as I could but she didn’t really ask for anything but she shared how difficult thing are for her.

Three days later she sent me a message saying she has absolutely zero emotional capacity to build a relationship right now.

Edit: She said that I’m not a priority and when she does get a free time, she wants to dedicate it to herself, and thanked me for treating her "like a princess."

I sent a final text saying: "I honestly saw a lot of potential and it's a shame you are giving up, but I won't fight for a place where I'm not a priority." She responded saying I was right, she had no excuse, and she felt bad about how she was handling it. I wished her the best with her dad, and we haven't spoken since.

My Dilemma:

It has been two weeks of No Contact, and I am struggling. I know the timing was terrible and she is in survival mode, but I truly miss her and want to try again. I am fighting the urge to send a low pressure text, even though I know I probably shouldn't. She has a birthday in a month which i think is a good check point to text her but I am not sure if I should.

Any harsh truths or advice would be appreciated.

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