For clarity, this happened like 15 years ago and I have been back and forth on whether or not I am the jerk in this scenario.
Friend 1 and Friend 2 are roommates. I lived with neither. They lived together for like 2 years before Friend 2's slovenly habits became an issue. She didn't clean, and Friend 1 got tired of it. Friend 1 was looking to leave but couldnt afford a place of her own.
Friend 2 and I hadnt been talking much if at all at this point. I realized after looking at my call logs that the only times we spoke are when I would call her. This was long before texting, messenger and social media became the main ways of communicating. I was tired of being the only one to put any effort into this friendship. So I stopped calling her and she never reached out to me. So I spoke to her when I went to visit.
When Friend 1 mentioned she was sick of living in filth and sick of being expected to clean up after, we decided to move in together. We decided to let their lease run out, which was like 4 or 5 months away. We started looking at For Rent listings. She said she would tell Friend 2.
About a month later I was at their apartment when Friend 1 was at work and Friend 2 was home. Friend 2 was venting about Friend 1 and repeatedly stated that me and Friend 1 would be better roommates.
That is when I realized she didn't know. Friend 1 never told her and it had been like a month. That is time that is needed to either search for another apartment or make plans to move in with someone else. I thought Friend 1 did Friend 2 dirty by not telling her. So I did.
She was understandably upset. And I get that. I didn't want to upset her, but the longer we waited, the worse it was going to be, and quite honestly, there is no excuse for not telling someone you live with for a whole month that they need to find somewhere else to go.
Friend 1 seemed relieved when she found out I told Friend 2. And she asked if Friend 2 was upset. I confirmed she was.
Fast forward 8 years.
Friend 1 and I were roommates until she turned violent towards me. As we were fighting about it afterwards, she brought up this scenario where I told Friend 2 she had to find somewhere to live and Friend 1 told me I had no right to do that and I was a jerk for "needing to rescue everyone."
I can kinda see where she is coming from. I could have messaged Friend 1 and told her she needs to drop the bomb, but i didn't. I have been back and forth on this one, but if I'm being honest, I truly don't think I am the jerk in this scenario, but it is something that pops up from time to time when I feel down, just because someone else told me it was bad.
Reddit, what do you think?