Tl;DR: She is throwing around the idea of continuing to live together.
My wife and I have two kids. We have been married for 12 years.
We have grown apart over the last couple years. I started spending more time on the other side of the house and she started spending most of her time in our room. We didn’t interact much outside of dinner and bed time. The marriage wasn’t sexless although the frequency was down to weekends only. We still physically click. We had a good session the day before the bombshell. Physical needs with being comfortable with each other might have been what kept us going this long.
We usually each lay with a kid on the couch or a bed and watch tv at night, then when they get tired we make them go to there bed. Sometimes if one of us falls asleep we will stay there. Here lately we have been sleeping apart more than sleeping together.
I guess that was the final straw, she started not wanting me to sleep in our bed anymore wanting me to sleep somewhere else for a week or so. Then she hit me Monday that we are done. I probably should have see it coming in hindsight, but I was blindsided. I have tried talking her out of it as much as possible without begging. I already got dumped have to try to keep a little bit of dignity. She says she loves me and I am still her best friend, we just shouldn’t be married anymore. Says we have been roommates for a while now. I can’t really argue that too much.
She said it is up to me on how we move forward. Brought up we could completely separate or keep similar living arrangement for the kids. She brought up us staying married for benefits if I wanted to(health insurances, 2 incomes, etc.). She said we could stay living together just having separate rooms. I feel like I would get jealous and mad if I had to see her going on dates or anything in the future(just being honest). She even brought up getting an apartment and switching weeks who stays with the kids. She said she would completely divorce and move apart is that’s what I wanted.
I want to stay and get back to how we used to be. I know I’m largely at fault by being a secluded type person. But I’m willing to put forth effort. I’m torn on the living decision. I want to live together and see if I can get things back on track, but if that’s not an option I don’t know if I wanna see her everyday. Would make it harder to move on I’d think.
What makes it so weird is she isn’t super mad or sad. She still talks to me normal. She isn’t lashing out at me or mooping around.
Im just really upset and don’t know what to do. I guess I’m just looking for insight on if anyone has dealt with this kind of situation.