For a little context, my second cousin (my mom’s cousins daughter) recently got married to my boyfriend’s older brother. We started dating sometime right before their marriage. My parents were super happy, they love my boyfriend and think he’s super kind and fun. My boyfriend’s parents, the mom specifically, have great disapproval towards us because of the fact that my second cousin is married to his brother. She’s super convinced that my boyfriend and I are now cousins, and that we’ll be cousins getting married (which legally is not true, and we share 0 blood).
Boyfriend has been pretty stressed about it, and has been trying to keep peace between both me and his mom. I am able to say hello to her, have light conversations, and overall just be pleasant - her as well. However, I know she still greatly disapproves. My boyfriend is having a hard time discerning our relationship because he doesn’t want to ruin the relationship with his parents.
Recently, I’ve been feeling really frustrated with this. I feel like there will always be time for him to mend his relationship with his mom if we continue to pursue dating, whereas if we break up from this, there is no turning back. At what point does it get too far where he is prioritizing his mom’s comfort over mine? We’ve been dating 11 months, almost a year, and I’m getting tired of this. Maybe I’m not putting it into enough perspective, but it just feels like he’s always going to play it safe when it comes to his mom, even though it feels like she’s constantly asking him to choose between her or me.
I don’t have any hate towards his mom, just frustration because I feel like her reason for disapproving is so factually invalid. At what point do I let this go / how long do I need to fight for this? I love my boyfriend dearly, and his siblings, my second cousin, my family, my second cousins family, and my friends all approve. Only his parents don’t.