u/Brave_Cabinet_5055

I touch myself to female Tiandi’s voicelines

How am I expected to focus when she’s pouring herself out, crooning and groaning at me all game? All her grunts of exertion, the guttural yelp she cries out during the zone, the little gasps she gives out when getting a gb fuck it’s like they took the best parts of female Tiandi and Khatun and mixed them up together into a beautiful homunculus to admire. The agility, flexibility, sweat flying everywhere I’m so tempted to just let those flimsy sickles hit me so I can hear her more, I want to pin you down splat your wall let me guardbreak you let me guardbreak you let me guardbreak you

Idk but his oppressive offense kinda pmo, so I’m helping you guys deal with him in 1v1 settings!

Whenever he readies up a bash, dodge backwards instead of to the side. This will beat literally every one of his options save for an immediate feint to gb (or a feint to zone, haven’t seen that tested yet). The spacing created by the back dodge can overcome the bugginess that his momentum has, where it would sometimes catch you even when you side dodged correctly, or not allow you to GB it as a punish because you were too far away. And if you notice that he’s charging up his bash, you can just unlock during the back dodge and roll away, i-framing his bash away and allowing you to remain unpunished. This makes him choose between actually letting his bash fly or feinting it to the rollcatcher, forcing more reads out of him even though he already guessed correctly (you’re winning out either way because the rollcatcher does less damage than the top heavy a charged bash would give you)! Don’t spam this tech too often, because he will catch on eventually, but this is a nice extra layer of safety against him. Works against Warmonger and Hitokiri as well!

Hope this helps! :3

It’s like the weird kid sitting at your lunch table unprompted, or watching a nepobaby move on scene after a touching performance by a real actor. You are not wanted here, you do not belong here. The flow of the gank or 2v2 or whatever screeches to a halt whenever you join it, both teams collectively sigh as you whirl around the field eager to participate and have fun, asking yourself why the brawl suddenly seems like it got all the life sucked out of it. It’s because you are there. You are not respected, and it’s disgusting to see you attempt to pretend that you are one of us actual players. You are not. You will never be.

Flying lotus btw

This hero is cancer. You can’t do shit against him in the neutral because THERE IS NO NEUTRAL. The match has two states, either his turn or the end screen. So you either let him just chip away at your health until his turn ends (DEFEAT) or you try to parry something, which is hard because his heavies and lights look fucking identical to me, and risk getting thrown off the map in Greece after getting Gbed in Russia. And then Ledditors who wouldn’t understand frame advantage if it popped up and busted all over their face will come along and say he NEEDS unblockable finishers? He NEEDS to be able to chain off headbutt? He NEEDS to be able to recover cancel in to fullblock? You NEED to get a job, fucking monkey, go contribute to society before you turn him into another Sohei

I’m so glad that most of his players are lowborn swine that forget that he has crushing counters too.