u/Brave_Average2467

just want the day to end.

i haven't craved human affection more then ever but i feel the most disgusting and feeling when talking to people like i see through them but still force a conversation because i know i'll won't have another chance to talk to someone my age . every day makes me more numb and all i feel goes away ones i pick up that phone even the good i feel it all goes away as well the bad ones . i don't want to feel so i use my phone but ones i stop everything comes back . it's like it's a block from reality when i put all my thoughts on what i'm consuming . ones a while i go to school i'm quite emotional and embarrassed to admit this but i never do assignments because of the fear of underperforming and reallasing i'm wasted and have to hope and feel every insult i've head people say real about me

everything feels 10x times more , i'm tired of everything ,sleep can't ever replace a constant state of self pressure even when no one has hope in me but me . every waking moment i feel more distant from everything like i'm slowly losing constant consciousness and original thoughts it's draining but some how i always reach for my phone even when my eyes hurt and my neck is in a constant struggle of looking down . it never stop even when i'm losing my self . i haven't craved human affection more then ever but i feel the most disgusting and feeling when talking to people the phone makes me so numb and without it i feel empty because i know how hard my problems are and it leaves me feeling hope less ( grades ) ( so what am i going through i don’t know if i’m struggling with addiction or some mental issue