Husband and I have been fighting a lot for the last few years, we went to couples therapy and are reading a book together and have been doing weekly check ins (which were helping.) we've had a few major changes in our life lately that have been stressful and become a triggering point for our conflict. I think the main reasons for our conflict run deeper than any external things we fight about and we've been trying to work on that. Through the whole thing I've felt strongly that I still love him and want to work through it despite the stress and pain. But I've also felt a lot of resentment and anger building up as time goes by with each little incident between us.
Lately we had a big disagreement where I felt that he was not supportive and not on my side. He refused to budge, and I had a strong reaction. I felt betrayed and something inside me just snapped. I felt like I just wanted to disappear from the relationship for a while, like I reached my limit being able to think about it. I haven't even talked to friends or family about it because I just kind of don't have the capacity.
I've moved into a separate room in the house and barely talked to him for weeks. I am usually the one to try to fix things and this time I just feel relief being away from him and our relationship. Something in me feels like it changed and it's scaring me. I don't know where to go from here.
I don't want to throw away our marriage and I still care about him. But I feel like I've shut down and completely frozen up. I know I need to decide what to do, and it's not fair to him to make him wait without any clarity about what I want to happen. I'm really struggling to figure out what's going on inside myself and how to regain my energy to check back in to things. Right now I just want to hide and avoid. How can I get to a point where I'm ready to face things again? What are some questions I could ask myself?
I see a therapist already but haven't even really talked to them about this recent situation. I even feel too exhausted for that.
TL;DR Burnt out by conflict in my relationship, mentally checked out and can't figure out what to do next. How do I "unfreeze" my mind so I can make a decision?