Struggling with being shunned by siblings/estrangement. How to cope?
I'm the oldest in the family. Me, my sister, and brother fought when we were really young, and became really close when we were older, in my teens and 20s. I moved away from my family to a different state, as my field is more prevalent in the area I live in.
Everything was a nightmare this past year to the point I had confided to one of my siblings I had suicidal thoughts earlier in the year. Basically because I was forced to work at a toxic workplace, and ended up being fired (got unemployment pay at the end by winning my case I documented) being the sole provider in my current relationship (partner going to school) dealing with a bad apartment with high humidity and dr appts throughoutthe year, and job hunting everyday for 4 months. Because of this I didn't have time to answer as many calls cause I was so busy. I got so much flack with them saying I didn't care about them anymore and I never visit.
What makes me mad that I am being cut off is the fact I was parentified as a child. I paid for their first cars, I paid for their high school extracurriculars, dropped them off at college, bought them groceries when they had no food, visted once or twice a year ( i always visited them not them visiting me because they say they hate my state or they don't have money, even though they visit their friends in other states) when I didn't ever have that. I had to do everything on my own because our parents didnt want to pay anything for me. It feels like such a slap in the face that everything i did didn't matter because I needed time and support. I'm getting the silent treatment and they won't answer my calls or texts about a wedding I was planning to see them at. I feel so torn apart.