I feel so wrong for being the way I am. We had a relatively normal childhood, with occasional highs and lows. We both experienced the same lows that affect me to this day, but he doesn't seem to be affected by them, at least not in the same way I am.
It's not like they were that bad, but I can't deny that they still affect me.
He did go through some sort of depression during 9th grade, but he says he's perfectly okay now. He's 2 years older than me and is now off to an amazing college in london, he's a very social and confindent guy, he got top scores (with lots and lots of hard work) during his 12th grade earning him the scholarship to go to london, he even has his own sort of successful platform. I'm very proud of him and by no means do I feel any sort of envy.
But meanwhile, I've had depression since the 7th grade till the present time (11th grade,) i've dropped out of school, I was almost sent into a ward if my parents hadn't intervened, I'm a social mess, I don't have anything planned for my future and I'm 90% i'm gonna end up killing myself. I hate myself so much, why did I turn out the way I am? I wish I had some sort of strength to fix this.
My brothers furthering his education and I have to take a weekly mandated therapy session.