Feels like brain is cooked and i contributed to it….
Hello, young female, been on the apps on/off and came across bad situations and bad people….now i realize it is my fault, a mix of me being too innocent, lack of understanding of what sex and relationships meant and lack of confidence.
Ended up meeting older guys +10 years older and it def cooked my brain and made things worse. Feels like I was being “used” with my consent?
However now that i have “woken up” it feels like my brain and body are too careful, disgusted and afraid of talking to males again YET YET i still really crave touch and sometimes even the sex.
Im stuck in this loop, of wanting someone but also feeling anxious and trapped once a nice guy shows up. I think i really messed my brain up with the bad experiences and i also strated struggling with unwanted sexual thoughts like sexualising people at work. I think from lack of intimacy?
Anyone have dealt with something similar?