u/Boredangelqueen-_-

I tried doing all in recovery and really struggled with the mental health aspect of it and then got flipping hospitalized for severe vomiting because of health issues from my ed and it's erasing a ton of my progress:(. I don't want this illness anymore I see how it's just totally ripped me apart and damaged me physically and mentally but it's so hard to recover. I'm not letting this fucking illness win I've not fought so hard against it just to fucking die in a hospital with so much wasted potential. That being said I can't be certain I'll win against it either but at least I'll know I fought my hardest. Those who have recovered, you guys are honestly the strongest people ever, literally ever, and I hope to join you one day :))

I've recently been eating more food and having the biggest hunger I've felt in my life. I don't want to say numbers as I know that could be triggering but I still feel hungry ( and very very hungry for that matter) after eating what should be enough for a regular person. Im trying to honor my hunger but it's very hard as I'm still going through these bad thoughts and I'm very scared people at school will see I've gotten bigger, even though realistically this food is going to help my bones and blood and stuff. But I'm still sad