u/Bored_Wallet

OCD is so annoying, I feel like I can't enjoy stuff without worrying if I'm good or not. It's tough when your friends are better at every than you. I hate this feeling because it makes me feel jealous, I obsess on how good I have to be but I'll never be better.

I have anxiety when I'm playing video games because I focus on how bad I am at them. I feel like I'm not even having fun half the time, it's just "I'm not good enough." And It make's me want to throw up. (I'm trying to actually have fun but most of the time I just feel dreading anxiety that I'm not good enough.)

This is also with a lot of other things too, like drawing, sport's, school work, etc.

Do you guy's feel this way aswell?

I swear, I literally cannot stop and I'm going INSANE. All that I'm doing is "what if.. what if..!" And then I look up post's about it, see that other people's events aren't that bad, then I feel even worse. Even if I get something that will make me feel better, I feel bad again later anyway.

I cannot stop playing the "what if" game and the "people would hate me" game. I genuinely don't know what to do because I can't escape it, even if I resist the ruminating I feel horrible.

If you guy's have any advice, please tell me.

I feel like I can't do anything right now, I really, really do want to get better at art. But the problem is that I have no motivation to do it and a lot of the time I just feel shitty.

When I actually want to draw, I obsessively think about how younger artists are better than me. I don't know why, I don't know why I even feel bad because I never really drew when I was younger. So basically I'm a beginner now, which is kind of embarrassing since I want to do art for college and become an artist when I grow up.

I also feel bad because I told a friend I would draw something for them because they asked me to, it's almost been a month since they asked me and I haven't even drew it. (DON'T WORRY! they didn't pay me or anything, I wouldn't want to scam someone or anything.) (Also the thing they want me to draw is kind of hard, it's a furry drawing and I'm pretty bad at drawing animals lol. I don't really draw furries or anything like that, so I have to learn how to draw that.)

But yea, that's pretty much it. I just don't know how I stay motivated to draw if I want to become a professional artist when I'm older.

I left public school at the end of 3rd grade, the environment was just bad and the teacher's were bad aswell.

Now I'm here, I'm 16 and I'm supposed to be doing my work but I can't even do a little bit right now. I haven't done schoolwork in some time. (Like a couple months, I know, it's bad.)

I feel so guilty and I don't want to disappoint my parents. I'm dealing with mental health problems, my parents don't know. But all I'm doing is just being a lazy person all day, I feel like I can't do school, whenever I try to I don't feel any motivation and I just feel really bored and horrible.

I know it's not an excuse to not do school when you're sad, but I seriously can't do school like I did a few months ago. I feel like homeschooling just made me super lazy and just not care about anything. I'm scared I won't be able to go to college when it's time.

I forgot a lot of stuff in algebra and I can't really even understand what's going on. All around, school just feels like a big weight weighing me down.

I wish my parents never took my out of public school, because I can't do any of my work.