Is this normal?
Hi, my now ex-boyfriend, who I only dated for 2 months(my first relationship), asked me before I broke up with him to promise that I would never report him for false sexual assault or domestic abuse accusations. Which of course I wouldn’t, but let’s be honest, most women who report these things are not lying.
I replied that I would never report him unless it was real. But then he started trying to convince me that even if it was real, I still shouldn’t report him, that I should just leave and not get him into legal trouble.
That made me wonder, if he never planned on doing anything, why was he so afraid of legal trouble in the first place?
What scared me more was that he would not take no for an answer. He kept dismissing my feelings and fears, and then turned it around and acted like I would be the abusive one. He was only fine when I passively agreed with him. I didn’t really I was like ok yes, but we are done, but he thought I was not done with him.
He had shown controlling signs before too, like telling me not to share information about our relationship with my friends. He kept pushing that boundary as well. I agreed at the time but didn’t actually follow through, and honestly I think that saved me, because being isolated probably would have made me stay longer. He was also always shaming for going to bars and drinking with my friends. He was acting like I was an alcoholic when I barely drink.
I ended things when he still couldn’t accept my answer about the abuse/reporting thing. But I still feel bad and confused about the whole situation. And I asked many of my friends is this a normal question or thought to have? No, right?