My husband wants to emigrate without me
What would you do in my position if your spouse tells you out of nowhere that he is going to another country and everything is already planned?
We are currently not living together. He lives about 1.5 hours away from me, and we had planned to move in together again in a few months (we already lived together before).
He is currently going through a very difficult time mentally. He feels stuck in a kind of “hole,” struggles with mental health issues, and sometimes panic attacks. It is very hard for him to talk about it or accept help.
About 3–4 days ago, he suddenly deleted his number and only gave his new number to very few people, including me. He also has been distancing himself from almost everyone and mostly wants to be alone. Then, completely out of nowhere, he told me that he is going to emigrate and that everything is already planned. He said he will be gone in 1–2 months. He did not tell me where he is going.
I was completely shocked. This was never discussed with me?? I told him several times that I don’t want this, but his answer is always that if he stays, everything will get worse for everyone, and that leaving is the only option.
He also doesn’t give me any clear timeline or answer about whether he will come back at all. When I asked how he imagines our marriage going forward, he didn’t respond.
He is a very stubborn person, and once he decides something, he follows through no matter what. He also refuses to give me more details unless I swear not to try to stop him in any way or make dua that this will not happen. Whenever I talk about my feelings, he shuts down and ends the conversation because he feels pressured. I also struggle with my mental health, and this situation is making me worse.
I still love him very much, but I feel completely left out of his decisions and I don’t know how I am supposed to process this.
Please give me advice, JazakAllahu khairan