First post here, but seems like a good place for some input and advice.
We have a 2 year old- an amazing, wild, vibrant toddler that I worked tirelessly to bring into this world. I was pregnant while working twenty four hour shifts during my medical residency, only to deliver on major holiday— a delivery complicated by IUGR, a NICU stay, oh and my own dad fell through the ice and almost died the next day. I had retained products and hemorrhaged in clinic at 12 weeks post partum and had an *unmedicated* emergency D&C in the *clinic*. So I don’t think I really want to have another kiddo right now. Our one is my whole world, but still my husband always asks when I want a second.
This is the thing- I don’t think I can do much more.
I’m still working full time.
We just bought a house, and on my one day off, I mowed the lawn, weed whacked, watered all the landscaping, washed both cars and pressure washed the fence. I cleaned the entire back yard up from winter leaves and debris myself. I then picked kiddo up from daycare and did the whole dinner and bath time routine.
All of the house renovations- I’ve done. Painted the bathroom, the bedrooms, bought all the things, hung all the things including the art, the mirror, the curtains etc. I bought the ladder, the power tools, etc.
I purchase the toddler clothes. Make the appointments. Pay the bills. Fight the insurance company. Buy the soap and the paper towels and always make sure the dog gets her medicine.
My husband lost his job 3 months ago and has been depressed since. He’s moody and snaps at me constantly. I know he’s upset with where he’s at but I feel like I can’t win. He just got a part time position where he’s making some income again and he’s STILL mad. I’m doing everything I can to be supportive, help him navigate this process but I’m walking on eggshells in my own house. The day I did all of the yard work I asked him if he could clean up the dishes before bed and he flipped on me and called me lazy.
But he wants another baby.
I don’t get a thank you or good job or even a “good morning babe how’d you sleep”.
I don’t know, there’s not much more to add. Until I figure it out, I’ll be pushing the lawn mower with Noah Kahans new album blasting in my headphones.