u/BoosherCacow

Before I tell this story, everyone is fine, nobody was hurt, everyone is 100% fine. There's a baby involved so I want that out there at the top.

I answered a 911, guy says he needs an ambulance and get the address. Very calm guy. I ask him what hapeed and his first words were "So I was choking..."

He's completely unruffled, not even out of breath, voice isn't raspy or anything like you would expect. This was the way he put it why he needed an ambulance:

"So I was choking and I think my 5 week old baby has broken ribs."

Did you ever have one of those moments where, like you understand the words, you have no issue grasping what each individual word means but put together it's like trying to spell the sound a bulldog makes when it's eating a bowl of spaghetti? I just didn't understand, and not in a funny heard a joke you don't get way, but in a "this guys 5 week old has broken ribs and what the hell did he say?"

So I said (and the playback is hilarious because I am usually very confident sounding, on this one I sounded so fucking lost) "I...I'm sorry, your baby was...who was choking and who has broken ribs?"

At this point my brain had jumped to the conclusion that the baby was choking and he gave a five week old the adult Heimlich maneuver which confused me even more. Like how is that possible and who would be so dumb they tried it?

I think the guy sensed the confusion (anyone could have) so he told it a little clearer.

"I was eating dinner, I started choking and my wife gave me the Heimlich and I think she broke our baby's ribs." At this point there's about 5 seconds of silence (there isn't even any typing in the background, I had no idea where to start) until I asked, in a still confused tone: "How?"

The full story came from the crew. Mr Caller was not choking. He and his wife were eating dinner and while eating he coughed and his mouthful of food did that absolutely horrifying thing where it goes up into your sinuses and wreaks havoc up there. So he stood up, gestured at his face and gagged while his grilled chicken or whatever ping ponged up in his upper airway. His wife, God love her, saw this and immediately went to thinking he was choking and bolted into action, giving him the Heimlich.

She gave her husband the Heimlich while she had her baby on her chest in a Baby Bjorn harness.

She gave a few thrusts and then the baby crying got her attention. Again, baby was fine, just had a scare. This was their first baby, too so you know they were freaking the fuck out. Dad's sinuses are ok too and he even got to finish dinner with a wonderful wife who might be too quick on her feet in an emergency and a very healthy, happy 5 week old.

Hope you enjoyed this wall of text as much as I enjoyed the call.