u/BooksThings

I’ve had this virus for 16 years. The first three years were awful. I definitely struggled with my mental health. After a while I seemed to learn to live with it, and did better. Sometimes I even forgot about it.

This year, however, I’ve been having multiple outbreaks. At first monthly and now, seemingly, having one flare up right as another is healing. It has been messing with my mental health again. I got back on valacyclovir (after many years of being off of it) , and was also prescribed sertraline to help with the depression and anxiety.

I went to my gyno today and she thinks I might also have lichen scleroses.

I have no one in my personal life that understands this. Even my husband. He has the oral herps but has never shown symptoms of the genital. We do not think he has it down there. I’ve been feeling a little resentful towards him, too, since he transmitted it to me from oral.

He just doesn’t understand. He thinks I should get over myself since it’s a ‘minor skin condition’. He doesn’t get why this has been impacting me emotionally as of late. No one else that knows (my mom, for example) understands either. Then there’s the ones that do not know. My PCP was dismissive of it, too.

I don’t know.. does anyone else feel like the hardest part is dealing with the emotions alone? Like, no one else in your personal life gets it? It’s not even the virus itself.. its not even that’s it’s that big of a deal. It’s really not. That’s part of why I am feeling weird for even struggling. I feel like I’m being pathetic, and everyone that knows is looking at me that way, too. But then, there’s that feeling of defeat that comes with it, that no one will ever understand.

I have GHSV-1. I’ve had it for 16 years. I went from having a few outbreaks here and there to now getting back to back monthly outbreaks. I started antivirals and am still getting outbreaks.

I went to my gynecologist and my PCP. Both said that going from minimal outbreaks to monthly recurring ‘just happens sometimes’. Not like, hey let’s check your hormones or see if you have any other things that could be affecting your immune system. Nope, just ‘this happens sometimes’. ‘Just get on antivirals’. Which I am already FUCKING on! One doctor said, ‘this is a virus’. What is that supposed to mean?

I’ve accepted having this virus a long time ago. Im even okay with the occasional flare up here and there. What I can’t accept is how it’s reacting different after well over a decade later. Usually, after this long, it’s supposed to start becoming more dormant than before.

Im so tired of doctors not caring or being dismissive. I’m also tired of no one else even understanding what having genital herpes can be like. Yeah, it’s not the worst thing. I get that! There are worse things. Yes, I know. But it’s the stigma, and the fact that it’s contagious. And when there are symptoms - especially recurring symptoms- life does seem to come to a halt a bit. I’m sorry, but it does.

What’s even more frustrating is I know so many people who have OHSV-1. Many of my family members, and some friends. My husband too! Which is where I got it! The same EXACT type I have! Same exact! Just in a different location, that’s the only difference.
And none. I repeat, NONE!
Not a single person I know personally (who has oral herpes) gets them back to back monthly!

My mom, who is 62, with heart disease and diabetes. So, an autoimmune disorder at that, has been symptom free for years! And even when she did get an out break on her lip, it was here and there. Not monthly.

My husband rarely gets an out break, as well.

So why am I different? Because I have them on my genital region? That’s why?

I have never felt so frustrated and alone than I have been these last 3 months.

Edit*** Well now I think it might be my semaglutide injections.

For two days I had this really painful bruising sensation in my pelvic area on the left side. It almost felt like it was my bone hurting. The bruising sensation has subsided a but now in that same area there is a small bump. It’s very hard to see. It looks almost like a pimple. I’m on antivirals, as well.

Has anyone else experienced an outbreak like this?

Usually with previous outbreaks, I experience very little warning and then bumps appear, and they are always unmistakable.

Has Anyone Else Experienced This?

I was diagnosed with GHSV -1 in 2010, when I was 22. I got it from oral sex from my husband. He had a cold sore at the time (we believe in his nose. He gets them mainly in his lip but every now and then, he has had a flare up in his nose a few times). Two days later I had the worst outbreak. It was a very difficult experience for me. It took me years to come to terms with it. I had my first initial outbreak in 2010. A second in 2012, and a third around 2015 or 2016. Then I had no outbreaks for the next decade or so until March of this year.

I wasn’t thrilled about the one in March, but obviously handled it well. I figured it would resolve and then I would go back to having minimal outbreaks like before. However, I had another outbreak in early April. I actually had that one confirmed and tested to rule out, as it seemed crazy to me to have a second one so close to the first one (as that has not been the norm for me). I started on antivirals. First 1G, twice a day for 10 days, and then 500 mg for suppression. I’ve been on the 500 mg for about a week now. Now, I’m starting a third out break. It’s looking like I’m getting monthly outbreaks like clock work whether I’m on suppression therapy or not. I can’t accept this! I’m ok with having the occasional OB, but monthly?! This is ridiculous!

I’m now 38 and read that it could be hormone related (possibly perimenopause?). When I went to my GYNO a few weeks ago over my second OB (back in early April), she was very dismissive, and made me feel dumb. First when I told her I was concerned about having outbreaks back to back, as that’s not the norm for me, she made it seem like I wasn’t aware that ‘herpes comes back’. Of course I know it comes back! That’s not what concerns me. I’m concerned that I went from having minimal outbreaks to now monthly. Something is obviously wrong! She just talked over me and lectured me about how it is what it is and there ‘doesn’t always have to be a reason’. Basically just get over myself and deal with it. I did bring up of it could be hormone related and she said no, hormones don’t cause out breaks. Which I know is a lie. I asked about hormone testing and she flat out refused. I even asked what if the antivirals fail (which turns out they might have if I’m now on my third outbreak after weeks of starting antivirals) and she basically said there’s no ‘guarantee’ it will suppress outbreaks, which is fine but the way she said it was so rude and like she was annoyed I was wasting her time.

Has anyone else experienced this? Having minimal to no outbreaks for a long period of time and then all of a sudden having back to back outbreaks like clock work?
I don’t understand why now after all these years. Could it be hormone related? Or my immune system being wrecked? Or maybe this is my new normal.

I was diagnosed with GHSV -1 in 2010, when I was 22. I got it from oral sex from my husband. He had a cold sore at the time (we believe in his nose. He gets them mainly in his lip but every now and then, he has had a flare up in his nose a few times). Two days later I had the worst outbreak. It was a very difficult experience for me. It took me years to come to terms with it. I had my first initial outbreak in 2010. A second in 2012, and a third around 2015 or 2016. Then I had no outbreaks for the next decade or so until March of this year.

I wasn’t thrilled about the one in March, but obviously handled it well. I figured it would resolve and then I would go back to having minimal outbreaks like before. However, I had another outbreak in early April. I actually had that one confirmed and tested to rule out, as it seemed crazy to me to have a second one so close to the first one (as that has not been the norm for me). I started on antivirals. First 1G, twice a day for 10 days, and then 500 mg for suppression. I’ve been on the 500 mg for about a week now. Now, I’m starting a third out break. It’s looking like I’m getting monthly outbreaks like clock work whether I’m on suppression therapy or not. I can’t accept this! I’m ok with having the occasional OB, but monthly?! This is ridiculous!

I’m now 38 and read that it could be hormone related (possibly perimenopause?). When I went to my GYNO a few weeks ago over my second OB (back in early April), she was very dismissive, and made me feel dumb. First when I told her I was concerned about having outbreaks back to back, as that’s not the norm for me, she made it seem like I wasn’t aware that ‘herpes comes back’. Of course I know it comes back! That’s not what concerns me. I’m concerned that I went from having minimal outbreaks to now monthly. Something is obviously wrong! She just talked over me and lectured me about how it is what it is and there ‘doesn’t always have to be a reason’. Basically just get over myself and deal with it. I did bring up of it could be hormone related and she said no, hormones don’t cause out breaks. Which I know is a lie. I asked about hormone testing and she flat out refused. I even asked what if the antivirals fail (which turns out they might have if I’m now on my third outbreak after weeks of starting antivirals) and she basically said there’s no ‘guarantee’ it will suppress outbreaks, which is fine but the way she said it was so rude and like she was annoyed I was wasting her time.

Has anyone else experienced this? Having minimal to no outbreaks for a long period of time and then all of a sudden having back to back outbreaks like clock work?
I don’t understand why now after all these years. Could it be hormone related. Or my immune system being wrecked? Or maybe this is my new normal.