I’d really like your honest thoughts, which do you think works better overall, love marriages or arranged marriages? Most of the marriages around me — whether love marriages or arranged — honestly look exhausting. Like, 80% of them seem like actual hell 😭 It doesn’t even matter if they’ve been together for 2 years or 25 years, it somehow always feels like problem after problem after problem.
Most of the marriages around me — whether love marriages or arranged — honestly look exhausting. Like, 80% of them seem like actual hell T_T It doesn’t even matter if they’ve been together for 2 years or 25 years, it always feels like problem after problem after problem.
My whole life, I’ve avoided relationships. First of all, I want to be religious and avoid zina. Secondly, I genuinely don’t want trauma or anything that could mess with my mental health or emotions. I feel like I’m a pretty uncomplicated person I don’t want unnecessary stress, drama, or emotional chaos. Plus, I genuinely enjoy my own company.
And I know life isn’t black and white, but not everything needs to include every color of the rainbow either. People have told me I’m cold or too nonchalant, but I honestly don’t agree. I just don’t like complications.
I’ve watched my friends and classmates go through love stories, heartbreaks, toxic situations, all of it… and honestly, it’s made me feel like maybe relationships just aren’t for me.
But at the same time, I know I’ll probably feel lonely when I get older — maybe in my 30s and onwards. I’ve also seen women around me dealing with societal pressure, and at the same time there’s also the genuine desire for family, stability, and companionship, so yeah
And if I’m being real… deep down, I’m kind of a hopeless romantic 😭 like "When Life Gives You Tangerines" vibbeeee
So now I’m starting to wonder if maybe it’s time to consider marriage. Not because I’m scared of being alone forever, but because that 20% — the people who genuinely seem happy, who found real love and built a peaceful life together — is something I actually want to experience. LOVEEEE
Most of the marriages around me — whether love marriages or arranged — honestly look exhausting. Like, 80% of them seem like actual hell T_T It doesn’t even matter if they’ve been together for 2 years or 25 years, it always feels like problem after problem after problem.
My whole life, I’ve avoided relationships. First of all, I want to be religious and avoid zina. Secondly, I genuinely don’t want trauma or anything that could mess with my mental health or emotions. I feel like I’m a pretty uncomplicated person I don’t want unnecessary stress, drama, or emotional chaos. Plus, I genuinely enjoy my own company.
And I know life isn’t black and white, but not everything needs to include every color of the rainbow either. People have told me I’m cold or too nonchalant, but I honestly don’t agree. I just don’t like complications.
I’ve watched my friends and classmates go through love stories, heartbreaks, toxic situations, all of it… and honestly, it’s made me feel like maybe relationships just aren’t for me.
But at the same time, I know I’ll probably feel lonely when I get older — maybe in my 30s and onwards. I’ve also seen women around me dealing with societal pressure, and at the same time there’s also the genuine desire for family, stability, and companionship, so yeah
And if I’m being real… deep down, I’m kind of a hopeless romantic 😭 like "When Life Gives You Tangerines" vibbeeee
So now I’m starting to wonder if maybe it’s time to consider marriage. Not because I’m scared of being alone forever, but because that 20% — the people who genuinely seem happy, who found real love and built a peaceful life together — is something I actually want to experience. LOVEEEE
I have a best friend whose father is the imam in the area where I live. I’ve always really respected their family because they seem very religious and committed to Islam.
Lately though, I’ve started noticing what feels like double standards, and it honestly shocked me because I wasn’t expecting it from them.
For example, my friend and her siblings all took student loans even though they don’t financially need them. They mainly did it because a percentage 40% gets converted into a grant,+ if u like u can only take the 40% instead of 100% and still get it for free only after u pass every exam. They also claimed they had moved out of home to get more support even though they still live with their parents.
Another thing that really surprised me was that the father, who is an imam, bought a house using a conventional mortgage, knowing that many Muslims consider it riba. When I asked him about it, he basically said that living in this country makes it unavoidable and that he would repent and ask Allah for forgiveness.
In Islam, is there a difference between Muslims who knowingly commit sins while planning to repent sincerely later (ps ik we can die anytime, anywhere and anyhow), and Muslims who genuinely try their best to avoid sins in the first place?
I know that Allah forgives sincere repentance, but what about someone who intentionally does something they know is wrong while already planning to repent later in life? Does Allah view these situations the same way, or is there a difference?
The way some of you hear “never been in a relationship” and translate it to “naive and easy to take advantage of” is honestly concerning.
I made a post here abt being 19 and never having been in a relationship BUT that doesn’t make me naive, gullible, or easy to manipulate. Not having relationship experience doesn’t mean I lack common sense, self-respect, or that I’m desperate. If anything, it means I’ve been selective. So maybe check your assumptions before projecting them onto strangers.
Mind you, this guy literally saw my post from this subreddit and still came to that conclusion.
Assalamualaikum, I’m 19F and I’ve never been in a relationship or anything like that. Growing up, I always wanted things to be halal, so I rejected a lot of people during my school years because I didn’t want to get into haram relationships. At the time, I felt confident about that decision. But recently, I’ve started feeling really worried that maybe I did something wrong or that I’m too late now.
A lot of people around me (including Muslims) are already in relationships and saying they’re keeping it halal and planning to get married soon. Meanwhile, I’ve never even had a close friendship with a guy. I go to a university that only has girls in my class, and most of my hobbies are pretty solo, so I don’t really meet new people either.
I don’t mind an arranged marriage, but I kinda want to find someone myself, ish. The problem is that I live in a non-Muslim country, so most of the guys who approach me are non-Muslim, and I’m not interested in that. And the Muslim ones are just not practising, iykyk T_T
But at the same time, I’m not actively LOOKING FOR A HUSBAND right now. I don’t want to get married until after uni. It’s more that I’m thinking maybe I should start earlier when it comes to considering potentials, since I believe it can take years to find the right person. So in my head, it feels “smarter” to start earlier and possibly get married around 23, rather than starting later and getting married closer to 30.
I guess what I’m trying to figure out is whether I should actively look for potential husbands right now, give people chances, or just be completely passive and think “Allah created us in pairs” and that I’ll marry whoever is written for me?
Assalamualaikum, I’m 19F and I’ve never been in a relationship or anything like that. Growing up, I always wanted things to be halal, so I rejected a lot of people during my school years because I didn’t want to get into haram relationships. At the time, I felt confident about that decision. But recently, I’ve started feeling really worried that maybe I did something wrong or that I’m too late now.
A lot of people around me (including Muslims) are already in relationships and saying they’re keeping it halal and planning to get married soon. Meanwhile, I’ve never even had a close friendship with a guy. I go to a university that only has girls in my class, and most of my hobbies are pretty solo, so I don’t really meet new people either.
I don’t mind an arranged marriage, but I kinda want to find someone myself, ish. The problem is that I live in a non-Muslim country, so most of the guys who approach me are non-Muslim, and I’m not interested in that. And the Muslim ones are just not practising, iykyk T_T
But at the same time, I’m not actively LOOKING FOR A HUSBAND right now. I don’t want to get married until after uni. It’s more that I’m thinking maybe I should start earlier when it comes to considering potentials, since I believe it can take years to find the right person. So in my head, it feels “smarter” to start earlier and possibly get married around 23, rather than starting later and getting married closer to 30.
I guess what I’m trying to figure out is whether I should actively look for potential husbands right now, give people chances, or just be completely passive and think “Allah created us in pairs” and that I’ll marry whoever is written for me?
Assalamualaikum, I’m 19F and I’ve never been in a relationship or anything like that. Growing up, I always wanted things to be halal, so I rejected a lot of people during my school years because I didn’t want to get into haram relationships. At the time, I felt confident about that decision. But recently, I’ve started feeling really worried that maybe I did something wrong or that I’m too late now.
A lot of people around me (including Muslims) are already in relationships and saying they’re keeping it halal and planning to get married soon. Meanwhile, I’ve never even had a close friendship with a guy. I go to a university that only has girls in my class, and most of my hobbies are pretty solo, so I don’t really meet new people either.
I don’t mind an arranged marriage, but I kinda want to find someone myself, ish. The problem is that I live in a non-Muslim country, so most of the guys who approach me are non-Muslim, and I’m not interested in that. And the Muslim ones are just not practising, iykyk T_T
But at the same time, I’m not actively LOOKING FOR A HUSBAND right now. I don’t want to get married until after uni. It’s more that I’m thinking maybe I should start earlier when it comes to considering potentials, since I believe it can take years to find the right person. So in my head, it feels “smarter” to start earlier and possibly get married around 23, rather than starting later and getting married closer to 30.
I guess what I’m trying to figure out is whether I should actively look for potential husbands right now, give people chances, or just be completely passive and think “Allah created us in pairs” and that I’ll marry whoever is written for me?