I’m a member of an association for autistic people and their families. There is a fee for membership. Most of the people who work there (paid or voluntarily) are not autistic themselves (many parents of autistic children).
I often don’t feel very comfortable with the way they talk to or about autistic (and neurodivergent in general) people, but it’s hard for me to articulate / pinpoint what it is. I’m not very good with words.
I’d like to share an e-mail they sent recently, maybe some of you can help me put into words what I don’t like about the tone? The person who wrote the mail works as managing director and doesn’t identify as autistic or otherwise neurodivergent. Though the e-mail is not directed at me (until now I was able to attend the activities I registered for), I’d like to stand in solidarity with the people it addresses.
Maybe someone can even help me articulate a complaint I could share with the association? (Please don’t use AI)
For me it’s mostly about the last 3 paragraphs. It feels like they care more about sponsors than about autistic people (especially the ones who struggle more with doing stuff / have less support to do stuff), and the tone feels.. condescending(?) ..shaming(?) to me.
It also feels like they make a division between the “good” and the “bad” autistic people, or fortify a division that already exists since at least Hans Asperger(?)
The e-mail:
”Dear Members,
We make every effort to organize a wide range of activities for our members, most of which are free of charge. This is made possible, in part, by the generous support of museums and leisure facilities.
Unfortunately, it happens time and again that registered individuals simply do not show up for the events. Therefore, we ask you to take note of the following:
These free activities are not a given and are no less valuable – they are made possible through great dedication, including voluntary work. We ask that you show appropriate appreciation for these offers and be considerate of all other participants by canceling if you are unable to attend. Only then can we offer the vacated spots to people on the waiting list who would also have liked to participate. Unnecessary waiting times for the group are avoided.
Participants who fail to appear without prior cancellation will no longer be considered in the future.
We understand that unforeseen circumstances can always arise, and participation may not be possible depending on how you feel on the day. However, we still ask that you cancel even at short notice. Or you can ask your accompanying person to cancel – otherwise, even two spots will be lost.
Otherwise, we will no longer be able to offer such free services and we also consider it unfair to the sponsors.
This would also affect those participants who gladly take advantage of free offers and contribute to their success. We ask them not to feel addressed by this email!
Thank you for your understanding. We look forward to many more enjoyable events with you.
Sincerely,
[…]”