u/Boglehead101

Wife now Empowered, my basic contribution framed as control

We’re from a left-hand drive country. Every time we went on holidays somewhere with right-hand traffic, my wife refused to drive, genuinely anxious about it, fair enough.

So I handled all the driving. I also researched booked and paid the rental cars while she relaxed and enjoyed the holiday properly, daily drinks morning, afternoon and evening included. I assumed the role of personal chauffeur for two weeks.

I didn’t mind. I saw it as my contribution to the family trip.
Fast forward to now, we’re separated, she’s taking the teenagers on holiday, and apparently my history of “always driving and choosing the cars” is being presented as evidence of control and coercive behaviour.

Shes bringing the kids on her own holiday booking and driving the car herself for the first time in 30 years.

She’s also told people she feels “empowered” now that she can “step outside my control and cant understand how she let me away with it”.

I’m genuinely struggling to process this. Something I did out of practicality and care is now being weaponised in a narrative I don’t recognise.

Has anyone else had normal, everyday things, things you did for your family twisted into something sinister after separation?

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u/Boglehead101 — 4 days ago