Hello fellow fuck ups. Kratom in some form or another has ruled my life for roughly 11 years that I remember, possibly longer. But things took a turn towards hell back in January of '25.
I thought it'd be a great idea to save some money by buying these tasty and amazing new tablets instead of my normal kratom extract shots. After all 1 pack of them had me good for 2 or 3 days! Wow! Well... Turns out that those tablets happened to be a poison that was engineered to be an addicts worst nightmare. With a half life of 2.5 hours, it binds to the feel good receptors many times tighter than morphine. It also acts as an SSRI. Thus forcing you to take it every 2 - 4 hours. If not, welcome to hell. If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm talking about 7-Hydroxymitragynine. 7oh...
By summer of '25 my use had escalated to 800+mg per day. Sometimes topping 1000mg. All I thought about was 7oh. I had to have it on me at all times. I started neglecting my responsibilities as a business owner, husband, and father. But hey I was still managing...
Flash forward to Jan '26. You may have guessed that my plan to save money didn't work. Tens of thousands wasted on a cheap high that, didn't really even get my high anymore. Not in half a year. But I couldn't stop. The compulsion to use was stronger than any other thing in my life. After a brutal series of quit attempts throughout the 16 months I was using. Up and down, up and down, withdrawls, and highs, I finally had a mental breakdown. I was suicidal by April. The poison stopped working and I was either in physical withdrawls if I tried to cut down even a little, or I was in anxiety hell if I took it. 7oh completely broke me. I was a shell of a human being. Every single thing I did was grueling work. Getting dressed in the morning, making dinner for my kids, taking a shower, eating, climbing the stairs, going for a walk, taking a shit... My body was in a constant state of restlessness. I was trapped in hell on earth. I was insane. I was ready to die. But I wasn't going to do that to my family...
So I reached out to a friend. Friend suggest I try AA. I was weary. "AA is like a cult bro." but what did I have to lose. I had already lost my soul. So I went. And I sat, and I listened. Then I started reading. Then I started praying to a higher power I never paid any attention to before. Then I started sharing in the meetings. Then I started getting numbers and calling people. And then... Literally miraculously I was able to fight through the withdrawls while tapering. Literally on my fucking knees praying to my version of God. And when that didn't work I called another sober addict. And minute by fucking grueling minute I clawed my way down from 200-300mg per day to 25mg per day. I was also using SR17018. And over the course of about 2 weeks I was finally able to do what I thought was impossible. What I had tried and failed at DOZENS of times before. I was able to break completely free from my addiction to 7oh.
It has now been 52 hours and 31 minutes since I last ingested that poison and I feel... Dare I say, like a normal human being. I continue to go to AA and am working the steps with a sponsor because I fear that if I ever pick up 7oh, or MGM, or pseudo, or whatever other poison they are engineering to try and kill us. I will die.
I've lied, and hurt so many people in my life from this addiction. But life will move on and I'm here for it. If anyone would have told me a month ago that I'd be OK, I would have broke down crying telling them I never would. But we can and do recover. There's hope. However you get there. There's a way out. I'm living proof that you can rise up out of the hell that is 7oh.
Other things I used during my taper were vitamin C, gabapentin, and ativan. They help, but nothing stops the cravings, the depression, the mental battle. So arm yourself with all the helpers meds and some SR. And charge ahead. If my destitute scumbag worthless weak piece of shit ass can do it. Truly ANYONE can.
Best of luck to you all in your life after addiction. My DMs are always open to those suffering and in need.