I was married for more than 15 years. I think it was good for the first 5 years?!? I'm not really positive on that one.
We both made mistakes. My mistakes first to make this fair: I made far more money than he did our entire relationship and frankly with him never really keeping a job, I resented him. I always put our three kids' needs before his. I had a strictly online 4 month emotional affair.
His mistakes: He had a temper and though he never hit us, he did try to physically intimidate us. He couldn't hold a job. He never medicated his bipolar disorder and only claimed it when using it as an excuse for shifty behavior.
Then after years of me supporting us, he cheated on me with a woman 6 years older than my oldest kid.
I found out from her boyfriend who found me online. I immediately denied it. "We have 3 kids we have been married X amount of years. There's no way!" I confronted him when he got home. He said nothing just walked out. I went all white trash throwing pinecones at him as he was leaving because he wouldn't talk to me about it. I was in my front yard in a T-shirt and underwear bawling, screaming and just ridiculous. (Keep in mind my kids were home and saw everything!)
He came back the next day and said he was kissing her in public, but he never slept with her. He forgave me for my online affair and I should forgive him too. (Footnote: He never forgave that. He brought it up with every argument in the 9 years since) I tried to make it work because I had always made it work. I tried for 2 years. Then I found out he'd also slept with my bestfriend years before which lead to her ghosting me out of guilt. (Trash sometimes takes itself out.)
I took my kids - all teens and all also done walking on eggshells and playing like his actions didn't hurt. We each packed a bag. I left a mostly paid off house and 2 paid off cars and the state.
This was in 2018. Our divorce was finalized that same year in December.I gave him the whole life we'd built together. He married his AP (who he had claimed to have "never slept with") in February.
In the years since, she's cheated on him constantly. (He complains about it to my kids who are adults now.) She is an alcoholic and he had 2 DUIs while with her. And in 2022, they split. Idk or care if they are officially divorced.
Now, he's losing the house because his driver's license was suspended and shocker... He hasn't maintained a job consistently. He is my kids' dad and they love him. I shouldnt feel vindicated by his misfortune. I do.