UBPD broken ankle mom part 3
Hi. I’m the one whose mom wanted to be home dangerously instead of skilled nursing while waiting for ankle surgery after a major fall and then was there while recuperating from her surgery since she couldn’t get around and was abusing me over it. I refused to pick her up and she made it to the postop appointment. I’ve been telling her over and over to practice in a wheelchair in the rehab because I knew she could be in a very bad situation if she wasn’t prepared to be at home.
Dr. okayed her to be at home with no weight on ankle in a wheelchair which for people with functional non arthritic arms would’ve been fine. He said she should go home by transport because of her stairs, but they basically put her on the couch and she can’t move. A nurse can get her into the wheelchair, but she can’t get to the bathroom or anything so there’s really no point, she has home health and a couple private nurses coming by, but it’s just insane, she’s sitting on the couch and she can’t even get diapers on by herself, so I don’t even know how she’s gonna make it. it’s at the point where she’s using disposable pee bags from the pharmacy and I don’t know what happens if she has to poop before she gets her commode that home health ordered. I don’t think she will be able to get onto the commode by herself. She has peed on multiple things on the couch and she referred to throwing away clothing and stuff. I mean, she can’t put anything anywhere cause she’s couch bound, but putting it in trash bags and tying it up.
My therapist said not to tell her she shouldnt be there. Like let her deal with the situation and realize what she needs or whatever. But its just such a disturbing situation that today when she started talking on the phone about insane tools to pull herself up with that don’t exist I said I don’t think she should be there and it’s not safe and of course got screamed at that I’m nasty and horrible and never cared about her and all the typical borderline stuff.
She has a private nurse coming a couple times a week and home health, but it’s not all the time and this is kind of insane that she’s just sitting on her couch not really able to go to the bathroom properly. If she falls on the floor or something she’s gonna have to call 911 because none of us can lift her. She started to say horrible stuff in the chat with my husband as well about how his mom is so lucky to have someone like him who actually cares about her and she hopes my son is like him and not me. I really need to not see her for the time being. I don’t want to put it all on my husband though. I’m just glad I have a key hidden out front and can tell people where it is and her main private nurse that comes a couple hours every couple days knows where it is already.
I almost didn’t go after she was abusive while she was in the rehab, but she got nuts and I just wound up going and confronting her and making her stop all the crap but then I did keep going every day until she was out. I would like to actually not go and even if I make it a couple days that’s progress. She should absolutely be in a rehab place right now learning how to get around, but there’s no way that’s going to happen. It’s not something I can force.