u/BlueNinja1994

I'm 31 [M] she is 26 [F].

I have maintained perfect no contact for 5 months, absolute radio silence.

An added layer of complexity here is that we live about 10 meters away from eachother as our houses are on the same street so please bear this in mind.

We were together for 6 months, first 5 we were both on cloud 9 and she said she had never been so happy her entire life. Great chemistry, amazing sex life and never a single fight or argument. We were just so happy.

Then in Month 6 she did the slow fade and abrupt discard over the phone on the day before I was supposed to meet her family.

She said she had lost feelings, is feeling emotionally disconnected so we must be incompatible. Said she needed space.

I went no contact immediately after the break up conversation.

Around 2.5 - 3 months into no contact she blocked me on all social media except Facebook. I was not blocked previously and this came out of nowhere.

I'm even blocked on WhatsApp.

If I was harassing her, begging, chasing, pleading, blowing up her phone, I would understand her motivation for blocking. But after 3 months of silence from me, especially living so close by, it must be obvious to her that I really can stay away and give her the space she said she needed. So why bother blocking at all? And to this day, leaving Facebook unblocked? It just doesn't make sense.

If she was hiding someone else in the picture, blocking is still pointless because I would physically see them together...but she's been at home on her own everyday since the breakup. Due to the neighbourhood layout it is impossible for us not to see eachother coming and going all the time.

It's been 5 months in total and I'm sure she's not coming back but I find this behaviour so confusing. Blocking somebody who is clearly leaving you alone doesn't make any sense at all.

Brief timeline: I am [31M] she is [26F].

We were together for a euphoric 6 months. Incredible chemistry, amazing sex life, madly in love with eachother, mutually never felt this way before etc.

Precisely 1 week after she told me in person "it has been an incredible 6 months, hopefully there will be many more years and hopefully forever" and 1 day before I was supposed to meet her family...she called me to say we are incompatible and must break up for these following reasons and i have been 5 months no contact since.

What's worse is we live a few doors away from eachother on the same street and yet she wouldn't give me the decency of a face to face chat because...she had just run a bath and didn't want to waste the hot water.

Here are the vague reasons for apparently being incompatible:

1. over the 6 months there were 3 dinner dates where I was a little quieter than usual, we therefore have already run out of things to talk about

2. we are just 2 different people

3. she wants a man to put her in her place without being controlling (still no idea what this means)

4. because I am older I have got to a comfortable position at work, she is younger and still climbing the ladder...the relationship will therefore never work (she knew full well i had just applied for a promotion but whatever)

5. she said she feels "emotionally disconnected" due to the above and does not feel she can ever reconnect with me.

6. she suddenly feels awkward around me due to her feeling disconnected

Finally and perhaps the most mind bending:

7. "you are perfect and there is nothing I would change about you...but I still don't see a future like I used to." (WTF...but she did just one week ago)?

The first time she raised these "issues" was on the day we broke up and I was completely unaware and blindsided. I had no chance to explain or defend myself, she was just gone and I feel totally stunned, betrayed and heartbroken.

We cross paths often and she totally blanks me like I never existed. She never gave me my t shirts back or reached out, just abandoned me over nothing.

I feel like she overlooked everything good I brought to the table as a partner and zoomed in on tiny, non sensical issues as an excuse to bail out.

I don't know how I can ever trust another partner ever again after this.

My girlfriend broke up with me out of nowhere 5 months ago and I have been in no contact ever since.

The hardest part is that we live just a few doors away from eachother (it's a long story detailed in my previous posts if anyone cares to read). It is impossible not to cross paths frequently, we ignore eachother but when she has someone else it will also be impossible for me not to know, where I would rather be ignorant of what is going on in her life.

Anyway, mental images of her being intimate with another man are incredibly painful and keep appearing unbidden into my thoughts. Everyday I come home from work with a surge of anxiety wondering if today is the day I see her in the window with someone else. I'm scared of the pain this will cause me, although so far she appears to be alone.

This break up has directed me to stoicism and I am just getting started. I am currently listening to Stoicism by Jason Hemlock as a starting point in my journey.

Any advice on how to stop these thoughts or at least reduce the pain they cause me will be greatly appreciated.

My goal is to be able to know she is with somebody else, see them both in front of me and remain unbothered. How do I achieve this?