Yesterday a Dr came in to ask what they could do better to reduce resentment her husband is facing towards her. For doctors who read the sub, this is an example of what behavior can look like from last night:
Wife is a PEM attending and had a swing shift from 5-11. We have two kids - 5 and 10mo old. Yesterday, the 5yo had a class after school. That means we only get home at 6 pm and then baby goes to bed around 7. It’s rushed.
She has two days ago off and was home all day while I worked. Here is what she did:
Set up dinner for all three of us in bowls I just had to microwave
Set out his night suit and stuff so I could have everything when I got home
Made his night bottle
Folded two loads of laundry to put them away so I wouldn’t have to do it after bed time
This doesn’t happen every day. Many days are super hectic for her and, generally, I do most of this work at home.
But, when she is able, she contributes fully.
MedSpouses - you deserve this kind of treatment if you aren’t getting it. It’ll look different based on what your spouse does. My wife works 12 days a month. Yours might have a more normal schedule. It’ll differ.
But, at the end of the day it’s just a job and they are still people and family members who have to contribute to the overall picture that works for your family.