A bit stuck here, my head says one thing and my heart another.
My gf (31) me (31) gave me some news after I came back from a trip. We’ve been in a 5yr relationship. She texted me on the trip saying she was going to hang out with a friend (Male) (this is a high school friend/ they have regular contact from time to time). We spoke on this guy before where I saw texts from him and she asked to hang out. I trusted her that this was friend she friendzoned. I don’t want to be controlling or restrict my partner from having guy friends. There was one instance where she went on a walk with him without telling me till after. Again I was away, thought was strange but didn’t read into it much.
This time round a lot different. Again I was away for the week. They hung out on a work day. Had some drinks - escalated to him bringing my gf back to his place where they had shots and watched a movie/ catching up. After that she says she doesn’t remember what happened but she woke up naked and ask her friend if they had sex. It was confirmed.
She claimed she blacked out. I’m one that tries to really make sense of things and gives benefit of the doubt. However I just don’t get it, this one hurts and leaves me confused. If it’s a friend sure have drinks but I mean you had to see it coming no? Was she actually blacked out? Where is the consent? Did she really let her friendzoned friend rape her?
I have so much love for her that I want to forgive and forget but I’m really hurt and not sure how to go about it. I am one to give a second chance but this is super difficult. As of right now I find it hard to believe or trust what she is saying? If I wasnt away would she do this. So many questions…
Any advice? My heart wants to hold on and try to work it out but not sure what to do here…