After smoking daily for 6-7 years, I quit a few times for varying lengths of time. I'd always think I was fine to just smoke a little and back I'd go. Honestly, the last time I thought I'd smoke it was completely unenjoyable so I really haven't craved it in forever. This sub helped me understand things about what I was going through a lot and ppl's success stories gave me hope and for that I'm so thankful and I'd like to contribute and give some of that hope back in some small way.
Quiting was worse the last go around because I had been using altered "legal," weed. My lungs were literally aching from it. I was more paranoid and even hallucinated things in the corners of my eyes at times. Way worse imo than natural. They say weed is not addictive but I realized that is 100% not true. I realized my real issue was making it an idol in my life and trusting it instead of leaning on my faith and competence to solve my problems.
It really ate away at my belief in what I was capable and equipped to handle. It was such a crutch in so many ways, physical, mental, and emotional. The numbness weakened me, much like how muscles atrophy if they don't get use. So when I didn't have it everything felt heavy and hard.
One day I saw the veil drop and realized exactly what it had become and what I had become because of it. An addict plain and simple.
Giving in a few times only gave me short periods of relief. I tried to give myself grace but not too much. Each time I quit was really hard, having given in a few times for varying lengths. But each time it also got easier to go longer without.
I'm going to be completely honest for those struggling. It took a couple relapses over a year and a hard battle to overcome. The first week to two weeks suck butt. The sleep issues, night sweats, cravings, irritability, appetite and bm changes, etc (I unfortunately did not loose weight right away like some) all are terrible, but no one really prepares you for what I think is the worst of it, the long term consequences, if you will.
Even though I had obvious physical changes, in my skin, lungs, stamina better energy, etc. I had severe depression from the dopamine withdrawal for MONTHS and months, if not just about an entire year. I slept a lot, didn't perform like I wanted to in every area of my life. Didn't enjoy things as deeply as I once did.
The weird thing was I knew I was getting better physically and felt better clarity even, it took soo so long for my brain to really catch up. The good news is, it finally has started turning a corner in the last couple of months.
My motivation and natural creativity are returning. Although I had dreams at first after quitting, many of them went away after a while. They are coming back here and there again now. The gnawing dead feeling is being replaced with life. Nature and getting moving help. Having something bigger than yourself to believe in helps. Sleep and water help. This sub helps.
I basically just came here to say that it may take a while, but eventually there is a light and opening at the end of the tunnel and it's better than you even remember. Keep going. Do it for you and the future you that you haven't met yet. You've got this.