I’m dating myself really badly here. Why do people have to be such assholes on the internet. Like, I get it. People are going to judge you enough in real life. I always try to say a kind word or give a dollar to the most hopeless, selfish person I see. I don’t give a shit about myself. You guys are more kind than most “normal” people. May your night be peaceful and your bottle(s) full.
Chairs
I know alcohol raises your blood pressure but damn. I guess it’s the drinking combined with the hot flashes. It’s a fucking nightmare. It feels like being on fire sometimes. It’s 900 fucking degrees in this room. Can any CA’s relate?
Happy Monday.
How many of you drink on meds? Every medicine says not to drink while taking it. I do it anyway. Sometimes it scares me because what happens if I stop breathing? It hasn’t happened so it probably won’t but still. Sometimes I wonder if all these meds would actually do something if I quit. It hasn’t happened yet but still…
Do you all look in the mirror anymore? I don’t. With the combo of weight gain from psych pills/alcohol I find it better to just…not.
Edit: Told my husband I was suicidal today. For what reason? I don’t know. I hate my life, but I know how people with suicidal ideation are treated. Locked up. Abandoned. I’ve been in enough to know. Fuck, I need more vodka but I can’t get by myself to the liquor store. Three hours until he gets home.
Have you all ever read this book? I’m reading it again. I guess to try to not fall back into a bender. I just finished my worst bender ever. I don’t think I can handle (lol) another. This was 4 benders since my hospital stay in February. Insane anxiety, puking, the whole bit. I legit thought I was going to die for certain this time. Hope you all are enjoying your day.
Chairs
Skol vodka is the absolute worst fucking shit on the planet. It’s cheap though. Sometimes I miss my cherry Burnetts. It could be worse. Off topic but do any of you remember that guy who used to post about drinking hand sanitizer and perfume? I wonder if he got help.
I was thinking about it. How many of you guys are drunks because your parents were? Why did you start? I started because my asshole husband cheated on me. I tried to go home but my parents were selfish assholes. I ended up in the psych ward twice in 2008. I tried to kill myself. I was 24 then, I thought it would be easy. Nobody gave a shit. I think sometimes that all of my efforts to avoid this were for naught.
Curious what your highest BAL has been. Mine is .43. Not Bragging about it, it was awful. I got locked in an empty hospital cell for 30 hours I think. No heart monitor, no drugs. No phone, no personal effects. Hallucinated for hours. Basically jail. I was divorced in 2014, it’s now 2026. Trama sucks.