To my love
I miss you, I can not find the words to describe the feeling. But you know how locked up I can get. How desperately I sometimes want to hide because I feel I am burdering you and everyone around me too much.
I love you, so much. I don't know how to go from this. I did not expect from you that you'd ignore me or abandon me. That's how it feels for me. I have made a mistake, and I was willing to face the consquences. Yet you gave up.
I still feel hollow, sad, like my anchor to this world is lost and I am just holding on for another what if.
Loving you is still easy and I know that you are the right person. I'm sorry that I grew so attached to you and our routines. I'm sorry I was having such a hard time figuring out where to stand while you seemed to let go of me so easily.
I am hurt because I thought you meant every word you said to me. How much you loved me. That you'd be there for me until the day you die. That you'd protect me. And you made me feel so safe, and secure. You gave me courage to work on myself, to sometimes even see myself through your beautiful eyes. Because I was learning to see the beauty that I am.
I miss you and I love you, life without you is boring. But I hope that, without me, you can find the things you so desperately want and need. I will no longer hold you back. I'm sorry if I did.