u/Blogger8517

Hi,
My 24F and my bf 28M have been together for over a year, we have had lots of fun together and I really think we have a strong foundation for a marriage someday. We share common goals, interests, aspirations, and there’s no doubt in my mind he loves me. Here’s the issue, we both have a friend. They were friends first, then I met her, then my bf and I started dating. Let me preface by saying he has lots of work friends and other friends in general who are female. None, who have caused discourse such as this one, weird considering we met through her. Boy was I wrong. The frequent texts she sent my bf stopped until this week, now, she is seeking comfort from him in every regard. She asks things that honestly, women ask of their partners. I don’t want to bring it up in fear of being portrayed negatively as an insecure gf. My bf and I had a very long conversation, he basically asked me how to fix this. Like him, I don’t know. However, I can’t continue to live my life with her constantly asking to see us and when he inevitably does not come because she weirds him out, she sends long texts asking him to come anyways. She lost it at me when I told him we were both busy- stating how “he can speak for himself.” Truth be told, my version of the truth is much nicer than the reality of the fact that he doesn’t want to see her and is trying to be polite. I’m over it too. I like her when she’s my friend- when she wants the emotional connection and support of my bf. That’s where I feel the line being crossed. I’m at an impasse- I told my bf that I feel as if I have two choices, to stay and love you and deal with this like I’ve been doing or, leave. I don’t want to really do either option. What I want is my own relationship. Ignoring her works, keeping her at a distance is the only thing that makes everyone including me the happiest, but her texts have become more frequent and of course, he doesn’t respond. And no, I’ve never gotten a weird vibe or an inkling she wants him. Truthfully it really is platonic, but she sends the weird texts about her needing someone to talk to and she constantly asks him if he’ll be at work for no other reason than that she can come see him. Often times, when inviting him to something she invites me, when seeing him at work, she invites me but she’s made it clear it’s out of “being respectful.” Being respectful would mean not texting my boyfriend at all. I don’t want my relationship to fail.