u/BlixiePixie

We were together 14 years, married for 10 years and 9 months. On April 6th he sent me a WhatsApp message to end our relationship an hour before he was due to come home from work. it’s been 20 days and I’m DEVASTATED. We’ve had serious problems since 2021 when I found out he’s addicted to pornography. He refuses to get help or go to counseling. I filed for divorce a week and a half ago since this is what he wants. He is cold and distant and all I want to do is hug him and hold him. I can’t stop crying. Ive had to go on antidepressants and anxiety medication because I’m such a mess and he is relieved that it’s over.

Hi All,

This is a doozie. My husband sent me a text on 6 April telling me that he is no longer interested in our marriage or our relationship. He stated in the text that there is no particular reason why, just that the relationship isn’t positive for him anymore and it is clearly not good for me since I’ve started therapy and I am not happy. He stated that I should find happiness with someone else. I should say that we have been fighting for a few years since 2021 when I discovered that my husband is addicted to pornography. In the beginning, he was very willing to get help and to go to counseling, but never followed through. In 2022 he asked me for a divorce because I just couldn’t get past the fact that he would rather be intimate with the images on his computer then with me. We talked after that and worked things out. Things went really really well until the beginning of 2025. He started a new job where he had to be in the office full-time. My job was high stress, very demanding and he hated that I was on call 24/7. He started threatening to answer my phone when my boss called and tell her to F-off. We both decided that I would resign and find something else. that took over a year, I was offered a position the day I got the text from him. Last year while my husband started his new position, he started watching pornography excessively again in the car park at work before and after he finished work and he was excessively looking at thirst on Facebook. I confronted him and told him how it made me feel and he just ignored me. He told me that all guys do it. I begged him to go to therapy. I begged him to go to couples counseling but he refused.

I know I’m not innocent when he was doing that. I reacted and I would go silent and withdraw and just speak to him when it was necessary.

He sent me a text in November to tell me he had very little left towards our relationship because I was distant and he was unhappy coming home. We had a massive blowout because he was stalking his ex wife on FB. He added her sister, best friend and cousin and messaged her mother to let her know he was trying to reach her. That was a boundary I set before we got married. My husband and I have been together 14 years. We’ve been married 10 years and nine months.

when my husband and I I had a very stable and great career. I was earning six figures and had a lot of freedom and independence. He moved to the country. I was working in for 18 months and decided he wanted to come back to the US. I gave up my family, my friends and my freedom to follow him here because I really him and wanted to be with him. When I arrived in the US, his first words to me were wow you really have lost a lot of weight. I had been pregnant twice back to back the previous year and struggling to lose the baby weight. I had two miscarriages and my body suffered trauma.

Things were very different when I arrived. I could tell that he was a different person. since he asked for the any communicate communicated via text. We still share the same house. And I am trying to avoid him at all cost since I haven’t been able to stop crying. I don’t want to get divorced. I still love him and believe we can work things out. He does not want to work things out. He has already moved on with his life and is emotionally detached from me and our marriage. I filed for divorce on the 13 th and he will be served next week. I really am heartbroken. He just wants to get it over with. I don’t know how to move forward. I feel so lost.