u/Blessingsfromabovex3

Does anyone just have random memories pop up as you are trying to busy yourself? I am 10 months into a separation after marriage . Some memories are bad but today’s was good. It absolutely broke me and I can’t stop crying. He was not a good husband to me and has made it clear in every way that he is fine with separating. I have accepted the separation and know in my heart that he will never change and I can’t ever go back . I just wish he wasn’t everywhere I look … in my thoughts …. In my soul . Just venting …. The memory hurt a lot .

Separated 10 months …. Slept with another person just recently. I have mixed feelings about this but it happened. Is it normal to feel like you did something wrong even though you are separated and there is no chance of reconciliation? I feel like I betrayed my stbxh ? For back story this man cheated on me for years and completely discarded our family . He is also actively dating multiples including his affair partner. I tried so hard to reconcile. He had no interest . I wanted my marriage. I realize I need to take a step back and not do anything like this again until I’m healed. No judgments please. Can anyone relate ?