I’ve been hiding my relationship with my partner for 4 years now. My mom and older sister know about it, My mom is not supportive and tells me not to tell her any details so we won’t have to “lie to my dad”. My sister was one of the first people I told, she’s be eh conservative, but was supportive, and continues to support me and my partner. My mom told me she knew we were dating when I went to college, my parents agreed to help pay as long as i didn’t “involve myself with anything LGBTQ” so I got nervous, went along with it and went to my room. That’s when my mom told me she knew. So I went to college and I’m a sophomore now. I keep asking her about the future and she tells me “who knows who you’ll even be dating”, it upsets me that she seems to be banking on us not dating forever.
I love my partner so much, he’s the literal best and the light of my life. I can’t imagine how different of a person i’d be without him. But even if I wasn’t dating him, I’m a queer person in general, So it frustrates me that my mom keeps saying that. Sure on the chance we broke up, maybe i’d date a cis straight white man, but what if i didn’t?! It hurts my feelings so bad.
I found out my dad mentioned before “i think [my partner’s name] has a crush on OP”, but I don’t think OP is like that”. As well as saying “I’d be more okay with it if [partner] didn’t want to be a boy and date OP” so that confused me more?? He’d be okay with me dating cis women, but not a trans man, okay?? UGH!! They know him as my friend, because we were friends before dating.
It makes me upset, I hate lying to them, I wish I could tell them the truth. My dad was talking about how one day they will be grandparents and how i’ll want to give some toys we have to my kids. I just stood there.
My partner and I want kids and a family, so he will be a grandfather, but I deeply fear he won’t accept it. I know my family loves me, but will they accept me and my future family. I just don’t know what to do, nonetheless how i’ll tell him, I fear my mother will continue to block it out.
Has anyone else been in this situation? I really want all of us to get along as a family.
TLDR; Mom won’t let me share my trans partner, College is held over my head, I want a family with my partner one day, but scared my family won’t accept it.