Aupair seems burnt out already.
I've been reading this sub and now I’m second-guessing our arrangement. Our au pair has been with us for a few weeks. We pay €200 a week for 20hrs.
Her main job is picking up one of my two kids (school age and a toddler) and engaging them while I cook dinner.
The Red Flags:
Safety: I’ve seen her walking a long distance ahead of my child during the walk home from school instead of staying with them.
Attitude: She’s expressed being "bored" of the kids' games but won't suggest anything else. When my toddler acts like a toddler (yelling "I don't want to play"), she gets passive-aggressive and says "fine, I’ll just go over here then" and checks out on her phone. No attempts to reengage.
Avoidance: On her time off, she will hole up on her room until the entire family leaves the house. Won't eat, use the bathroom, etc. She is free to do whatever she wants during her time off but it's concerning that she seems to be timing her movements to avoid the family entirely.
Does she just need more time to warm up? I'm thinking of just cutting our losses and rematching but wondering if we are too impatient. My husband is worried about "coaching" her because he doesn't want her to become resentful and take it out on the kids.