Problem/Goal: Gusto ko sana bumukod kami together ng fiancé ko either before the wedding or right after (like agad). Ayoko mag stay sa house ng in-laws ko for more than 2 weeks. Pero parang napapansin ko na napapagod na siya tuwing ino open ko na hindi ako fully comfortable tumira doon. Should I bring this up again or baka mag away lang kami ulit? Anyone with similar experience or advice?
Context: Currently, hindi pa kami nagli-live together. Pareho kaming nasa parents’ house namin. Minsan nag-stay ako sa kanila for a few days (max siguro around 7 days?), especially nung may relatives sila na umuwi from abroad.
Okay naman sila, mababait naman yung parents niya. Walang issue in terms of pakikitungo. Pero hindi pa rin ako fully comfortable. Siguro kasi feeling ko kailangan lagi akong nakatapak sa numero and syempre dapat “on my best behavior,” and at the end of the day, bahay pa rin ng parents niya yun.
We talked about it before na pwede kami mag stay sa kanila temporarily after the wedding habang naghahanap ng sariling place. Pero ngayon, mas gusto ko na talaga na bumukod agad after kasal. Nahihirapan ako sa feeling na laging may iniintindi, like kahit sabihin ng mom niya na okay lang na hindi ako tumulong masyado sa chores etc. But I feel like, I can't just ignore naman na I also need to do something.
WFH pa ako (night shift), so 99.9% of the time I'm at home talaga. Meaning, mas exposed ako sa setup nila. Fiancé ko may business (medyo bago pero okay naman), and financially kaya namin bumukod.
I don’t think money is the issue. Mas nakikita ko na when we talk about it, lagi niyang sinasabi na okay lang naman sa parents niya and naiintindihan daw nila. Pero nakita ko rin kasi what happened to my sister-in-law niya when they stayed there longer than planned -and hindi naging okay in the long run. I don't want it to be like that and hihintayin ko pa bang maging ganun yung situation.
Previous Attempts: Na open ko na to sa kanya before, and napag usapan namin na temporary lang dapat yung pag-stay sa kanila. Pero recently, tuwing binibring up ko ulit na gusto ko bumukod agad, parang nagiging sensitive siya or napapagod na sa topic.
Any advice kung paano ko siya i approach ulit without it turning into a fight? Or if valid ba tong nararamdaman ko? 🙏