TLDR:
Lonely and want meaningful relationships, but keep hitting a wall where I lose energy or motivation to maintain connections—wondering if other high-functioning autistic people relate.
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I’m high-functioning autistic, adhd, etc (F28), and one of the hardest things I deal with is this constant underlying loneliness—but at the same time, I feel like I have zero energy or motivation to actually get to know new people.
It’s not that I don’t try. I do. I’ll put myself out there, talk to people, even go into it with good intentions. But it feels like I hit a wall really quickly. Either I get overwhelmed, lose interest, or it just starts to feel like too much effort to keep the connection going. Then I end up back in the same place—wanting connection but not being able to sustain it.
It’s confusing because I do want meaningful relationships. I just can’t seem to follow through in a way that actually builds them.
Does anyone else experience this? How do you deal with the push and pull between wanting connection and not having the capacity for it?