I wrote to my mil with my plan for my second child’s birthday, asking if it worked for her schedule. I never heard back.
The day before the party, she told me she will miss it because she is going on vacation with some friends and couldn’t miss because one of them is sick, might not be able to go next year. (She was leaving the day before, I l it really would have had it a day before earlier if she told me, or is it the end of the world if she leaves a day late?)
Fortunately my daughter is 1 but my 4 year old clocked it and asked why isn’t my grandma coming to the party.
Anyway, this and a million other things shows me that my kids are not her priority. It has been going on since my fist was born. She favors her daughter’s grandchildren and is a total flake for my kids. My oldest has asked me on numerous occasions “where is grandma” “I thought grandma was coming” “we got grandma a Christmas gift did she get us one”.
How do I cushion this? I have no idea what to say other than your grandma sucks. It’s harder that she lives nearby and just is really hot and cold. My son is so loved by everyone else and so thankful everyone else in his life is so reliable. Do I just say “sometimes grandma doesn’t feel well”? I’m really not interested in her at all, I do not like her love her think about her etc, except in the context of my children.